MIL adopted 1st grandchild..& she's not my kid...

[alikat618]

That's funny, Lissa - because there's a whole lot of positive comments on my CP. Only one who's had an issue is you - and now Alikat, who apparently doesn't realize her own snarkyness. (yeah- there's probably a children's book about THAT too)

I call it like I see it. and this is just not adding up. If her concern was really what she's now saying, why was that not mentioned at the start? She did plenty of complaining about everything else the MIL did. Even the name of the thread indicated jealousy that hers wasn't #1. So why leave out this new stuff... the ONE thing that could have SOME justification for concern?
It looks to me like she was surprised by the overriding opinion that she was being ridiculous and had to change it up to sound more reasonable.
maybe a run for office would be in order? Could be your calling!

What are you so angry about. I said earlier that I didn't want to make her look bad to justify my EMOTIONS and FEELINGS. I wanted advice as to why I was feeling that way and if I should. You took it to another level. Now that mainly just you is going off on me then yeah, i'll add that stuff to show you there's more to it. I don't like being talked down to by someone I don't even know. I came here looking for fellow mothers who could offer some insight and support. I don't agree with everything everyone feels and says in the world but I sure as hell don't just look at that and talk down to them like they have no feelings. How would you like it if I got onto all the posts you've ever written about how badly you ex treated/treats you or your posts about losing someone and disreguarded your feelings and told you to get over it? Forums are for support, not for bashing people. And who gives a rats ass about your little ratings and reputation. I know I don't. You are being childish and directing anger towards me because of your own issues. I never said anything to you to hurt you, so please just drop it.

I'm not perfect and I can admit it. I have a heart too.

 

[Lissa]

Alikat, don't even respond to her her posts. She's just trying to get you upset.

 

[alikat618]

Alikat, don't even respond to her her posts. She's just trying to get you upset.

I hear ya. I appreciate the people who did tell me straighforward that I was being selfish and jealous but did it in a polite and mature manner. It's the people who just flat out insulted me I was trying to justify the situation with and I shouldn't have bothered. Not like it matters. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby and i've met a few nice people here. So case closed, please no more bashing. Is there a way to close this thread? I was selfish and jealous and i'm learning just like everyone else, no problems here admitting it. So now that you have that, you can leave it alone. Everyone suffers and goes through things and I think it's important to stick by people in pain whether you agree with their reasoning or not. Helping people see their ways is the best thing you can do, not making them feel like shit for having feelings.

 

[budnkota]

You and I apparently have very different concepts of a forum. I see it as a place to discuss and exchange ideas. Posters come from countless backgrounds and histories - which means that they have a multitude of perspectives. Which is exactly what makes a forum so valuable and worthwhile.

I'm curious what "anger" you are referring to? It's "angry" because I did not agree with what you initially wrote and I expressed my opinion? Because I pointed out the reasons I doubted the new addition to the story? That's not "anger," that's disagreement and expression of opinion. You don't agree with what I say? That is your perogative.

Other than expressing anger at the pathetic LOSER who thought it appropriate to play games with his little boy by not showing up, not sure which "feelings" you are referring to (and please - try to find an issue with anger over that. i'd be interested in hearing it)? Loss? I assume that you are talking about the thread about the Mothers book? Try to find issue with that too. I simply said that it was interesting, and I hadn't expected to find myself within those pages.

As far as "Mr Wonderful," the other posts where he's mentioned were to make a point or to show that I have some understanding of where other people are, because while I have not been in their shoes, I've probably shared some similar experiences. There's a level of understanding.

And if somebody is seeing a hole in my thought processes, then absolutely! yes, point out the flaws in my thinking. because a person can not truly grow emotionally/psychologically until they learn from their weaknesses. If you are reading along and something I express feels wrong to you, I would encourage you to point out another perspective and explain why you feel that way. Because I, like every other woman in existance, have had erroneous logic at times. If I mention something about our lives that gives somebody pause, I would like them to point out any problems with my thought process - because in the end, that ALL affects my little boy.


I find it interesting though that you get all sarcastic with your repeated kid's book comments with your little rolling eyes... yet when it's pointed out that it's a valuable concept regardless of the origin, that's being harsh? That seems a little odd to me. Cuz I have to say that the sarcasm really ticked me off. You get all passive-agressiveness, but the slightest reciprication in that behavior (i.e. Newsflash) is being 'harsh?" Huh?

Perhaps you took my intial statement about the book as sarcasm? That's the only explanation I can see... but I am not clear why that would be. I've read enough children's book to know that they can be a very powerful. Who hasn't read their child Guess How Much I Love You and got to the end dry eyed? I'm not saying mine is of that emotional calibre - hopefully someday I'll write a truly great kids book. But I very strong believer in those words. You don't think your sarcasm was belittling?

 

[alikat618]

You and I apparently have very different concepts of a forum. I see it as a place to discuss and exchange ideas. Posters come from countless backgrounds and histories - which means that they have a multitude of perspectives. Which is exactly what makes a forum so valuable and worthwhile.

I'm curious what "anger" you are referring to? It's "angry" because I did not agree with what you initially wrote and I expressed my opinion? Because I pointed out the reasons I doubted the new addition to the story? That's not "anger," that's disagreement and expression of opinion. You don't agree with what I say? That is your perogative.

Other than expressing anger at the pathetic LOSER who thought it appropriate to play games with his little boy by not showing up, not sure which "feelings" you are referring to (and please - try to find an issue with anger over that. i'd be interested in hearing it)? Loss? I assume that you are talking about the thread about the Mothers book? Try to find issue with that too. I simply said that it was interesting, and I hadn't expected to find myself within those pages.

As far as "Mr Wonderful," the other posts where he's mentioned were to make a point or to show that I have some understanding of where other people are, because while I have not been in their shoes, I've probably shared some similar experiences. There's a level of understanding.

And if somebody is seeing a hole in my thought processes, then absolutely! yes, point out the flaws in my thinking. because a person can not truly grow emotionally/psychologically until they learn from their weaknesses. If you are reading along and something I express feels wrong to you, I would encourage you to point out another perspective and explain why you feel that way. Because I, like every other woman in existance, have had erroneous logic at times. If I mention something about our lives that gives somebody pause, I would like them to point out any problems with my thought process - because in the end, that ALL affects my little boy.


I find it interesting though that you get all sarcastic with your repeated kid's book comments with your little rolling eyes... yet when it's pointed out that it's a valuable concept regardless of the origin, that's being harsh? That seems a little odd to me. Cuz I have to say that the sarcasm really ticked me off. You get all passive-agressiveness, but the slightest reciprication in that behavior (i.e. Newsflash) is being 'harsh?" Huh?

Perhaps you took my intial statement about the book as sarcasm? That's the only explanation I can see... but I am not clear why that would be. I've read enough children's book to know that they can be a very powerful. Who hasn't read their child Guess How Much I Love You and got to the end dry eyed? I'm not saying mine is of that emotional calibre - hopefully someday I'll write a truly great kids book. But I very strong believer in those words. You don't think your sarcasm was belittling?

I think we are both different people and take things very differently. Yes, I took your comments as very sarcastic. So I dealt it back. I don't mind people telling me i'm wrong but you came off very angry and harsh. Perhaps it's because this is online and I can't see your face and hear the tone in your voice. I'm not a rude and sarcastic person unless provoked by rude and sarcastic remarks. If you didn't mean it that way, well then it's obviously a misunderstanding.

I agree with your opinion of a forum, that's the way it should be, but I took at as you talking down to me which I wont stand for.

As for me bringing up things you have written about. It was an example, I'm sure he is a real peice of shit and when a child is involved then it's very painful. I would never say otherwise to you or anyone else..which was my point. I don't know how your situation feels so I would never tell you that your FEELINGS were wrong and that you had a thing or two to learn about FEELINGS. You are entitled to those. I wanted advice as to why I felt that way and what I could do to move on. That's the only ISSUE i've had with any of this. I was simply asking how it would make you feel to have someone who has never been in your shoes say that you are maybe overreacting when you know full and well what it feels like to have a shitty husband. You get me? None of this was personal and I felt like you were looking down on me as a person based on my feelings about an issue. Take away everything else, that's what I saw.

So, if you want to continue any arguements or whatever, PM me, we are way past the original post now so it's pointless to continue this.

 

[fallon]

let's bring this thread back on topic please