I think overreacting is likely to increase his obsession. If you take the object he's attached to away, or if you make a big deal about how much you dislike it, he'll only cling to it more. A stuffed puppy isn't the problem, the problem is your own past embarrassment with your bad habit. Carrying a puppy is not a habit, and it's likely he'll give it up easily when the time comes. For the time being, it makes him feel relaxed just as for adults we may have a comfort food, a lucky accessory or a cozy robe we like to wear at relaxation time. I'd suggest a compromise where you set a couple of rules about puppy, such as puppy can come with him places but must stay in the car, puppy can't come to school because he could be lost or sent home with another child, etc. That will spare you having to worry he'll cling to puppy his whole life and embarrass himself, and it will allow him to seek comfort.
My Son's Attachment - harmless or hurtful?...
- Thread starter ejtilton
- Start date
I agree with the other posters. Truth be told my favorite teddybear sits on my bookshelf in my room now. When I was little I carried it around but then I just held it at night and then it became part of the decor. When I got divorced I held it when I cried (partly because I didn't want the kids to hear me) but other than that it's been on the bookshelf.
I am worried that your son hasn't had an attachement! No offense, but stopping your child from all attachment, can have serious mental consequences. He is probably still fine, but I would encourage him to have a balanced life style and to move on from some things and not others. It should be more or less his choice, I still have a stuffed animal from when I was six!
I see having attachments as being a good thing. Our son is attached to his video games, which could be bad if left unchecked, and our daughter is attached to her kitty cat. We see this as something positive rather than something negative. I feel we all have attachments, sometimes called addictions when we're adults, and as long as it's kept in check (not to excess) then I see it as overall a good thing.
I am 21, and still have the same "clown blanket" that ive slept with 99% of nights since I was born. My mom used to joke "you wont bring it to college!" yep, I did. I thought I would be weird, but it turns out a good 1/4-1/3 of my friends still have their childhood blankets, bears, etc... I love my blanket. Sleeping without it is weird, and its good to have something from my childhood, to remind me where I came from and such. I wouldn't deprive anyone of their "blankie!"
What embarrassing stories will you tell his future girlfriends if you don't let him have a stuffed puppy? 
I'm teasing. My SO has a pillow he has had since he was a young child that he still sleeps with. He had to have special pillows and pillow cases because his asthma was so bad and he has just always kept this pillow. His mom used to call it Kevin and I tease him endlessly when I am using Kevin to prop myself up in bed and he won't go to sleep until I give him "his pillow." (He won't call it Kevin)
Honestly though, do you want your son to grow up learning to be detached from everything? If you are that worried about it, get him a real puppy to be attached to, would it be acceptable if it were a living thing?
I'm teasing. My SO has a pillow he has had since he was a young child that he still sleeps with. He had to have special pillows and pillow cases because his asthma was so bad and he has just always kept this pillow. His mom used to call it Kevin and I tease him endlessly when I am using Kevin to prop myself up in bed and he won't go to sleep until I give him "his pillow." (He won't call it Kevin)Honestly though, do you want your son to grow up learning to be detached from everything? If you are that worried about it, get him a real puppy to be attached to, would it be acceptable if it were a living thing?
It's perfectly normal for him to form an attachment to a stuffed animal. I think it would be a poor decision to just take it away from him. I wouldn't let him take it to school or anywhere formal, but I'd be cool with anywhere else.
Since my son was born, I was adamant that I would not allow him to form any annoying habits or attachments to things. Until recently, we've been attachment free. He never sucked his thumb or used a pacifier or had a "blanket"</SIZE>
<SIZE size="125">He has been playing with this little stuffed puppy. "My baby puppy" he calls it. He carries it around everywhere, making puppy-dog whining noises and doesn't want to put it down. He wants to take it to bed, sometimes I let him. When I don't, he just cries himself to sleep. He tries to take it to school and cries when I make him leave it... </SIZE>
<SIZE size="125">When I pick him up from school, the first thing he says is, "where is my baby?"</SIZE>
<SIZE size="125">Its been four months, you'd think a 4-year-old should have lost interest by now.</SIZE>
<SIZE size="125">My question:</SIZE>
<SIZE size="125">Is this a harmless stage he is going through?</SIZE>
<SIZE size="125">Should I get rid of it when he isn't looking, and hope he forgets about it soon?</SIZE>[/quote]
NO, you should not get rid of it when he isn't looking. That is the worst thing you could do. He will feel betrayed and sad. Having a "security blanket" type of thing is entirely normal for a four-year-old. Trust me, he'll get over it. I would keep enforcing the "no-puppy-at-school" rule, even though I know it's hard to see him cry. But don't worry! It may take a while, but he will give it up. Just let him keep his puppy until he gets tired of it and moves on.
<SIZE size="125">He has been playing with this little stuffed puppy. "My baby puppy" he calls it. He carries it around everywhere, making puppy-dog whining noises and doesn't want to put it down. He wants to take it to bed, sometimes I let him. When I don't, he just cries himself to sleep. He tries to take it to school and cries when I make him leave it... </SIZE>
<SIZE size="125">When I pick him up from school, the first thing he says is, "where is my baby?"
</SIZE><SIZE size="125">Its been four months, you'd think a 4-year-old should have lost interest by now.</SIZE>
<SIZE size="125">My question:</SIZE>
<SIZE size="125">Is this a harmless stage he is going through?</SIZE>
<SIZE size="125">Should I get rid of it when he isn't looking, and hope he forgets about it soon?</SIZE>[/quote]
NO, you should not get rid of it when he isn't looking. That is the worst thing you could do. He will feel betrayed and sad. Having a "security blanket" type of thing is entirely normal for a four-year-old. Trust me, he'll get over it. I would keep enforcing the "no-puppy-at-school" rule, even though I know it's hard to see him cry.
But don't worry! It may take a while, but he will give it up. Just let him keep his puppy until he gets tired of it and moves on. 