I do not want to make my first post a wall of text people will just look at and skip. I'll try to be as concise as possible, and answer more if needed.
I am a military disabled vet of 3 children. 15, will be 16 in oct, 13 year old boy and 6 year old girl. Wife and I have been married for 17 years this month. We run a rather tight ship but nothing to the extent of saying sir and drill instructor type atmosphere. We are strict, like most parents I would assume, but not over the top by any means.
That being said we've been having a hell of a time with out soon to be 16 year old. Hes not stop disrespectful, now is starting to swear infront of us, and 2 days ago threatened he was suicidal. A quick note on that, hes using it to hurt us, hes never said it before and doesn't display any signs or symptoms of depression. Hate to say it but its more like first world problems. He had a girlfriend and we didn't allow him to talk to her passed a certain hour on the phone or internet. Thats one of his main reasons...
Anyway, we've been having issues since school started last week. We told him hes not allowed to get a ride to school with his friend down the street. This kid is reckless and we just told him no. He did it first day, we said you're grounded. Second day he road home, 3rd day he rode to and from school. All these days he also has been going to lunch off campus, which without a note from us, isn't allowed.
SO after grounding him and talking to him about it, we told him we will call the police next time he gets in his vehicle. It didn't work, all he did was say im suicidal and its because of you, me the father. His reasons, which he didn't give, are really because he can't do what he wants to do. Hes not bullied, not depressed...etc its literally because we refuse to take him or allow him to hang out with this girl.
So I did something I know isn't the best. I had taken away his 2 favorite things, his ipod and nintendo ds earlier. He fiends for them like crack so figured it would work. It did for a bit but after he did his little suicide thing, laughed at us about calling the police I went and got his stuff said here, you win.
I told him he has two options. Option A, do what you're told, follow the rules and be apart of this family. Option B, do what ever you want, without breaking the law or getting me in trouble. I told him option B will also mean he cannot get our support beyond food, clothing, and shelter. Meaning if he wants special clothes, a cord for his ipod (which he no longer has because it was mine), and rides he has to pay for it. He has no job but put in an app to a DQ near by which we all ready told him no, school comes first.
THis is getting way too long I see, im tryin to shorten it as people might give up reading at this point. The point I was trying to make was you need us. You're only 15/16 and you still need our support, not only our family/love support but financial. I figured once he saw he doesn't have any means of income, can't get anything he wants anymore, has no rides...etc he'd be like ok I get it. Well, hes not getting it.
I need him to get help, but I am on the worst insurance known to man kind and they won't pay for it. I am flat broke being a military vet. I need him to be put in counselling of some sort and I don't think the school will do much, maybe like a 20 min talk and he'll just say its all good.
Lastly, part of the reason I don't call the police is I have ptsd and panic attacks. If I call the cops my anxiety goes into overdrive and I have to leave the situation and get medicine. That and im trying all I can to not have him get a criminal record, yet. Hes walking on ice in march, seems stable to him buts going to crack any min.
Any help would be appreciated and I will answer any and all questions to clarify things.
Jim
I am a military disabled vet of 3 children. 15, will be 16 in oct, 13 year old boy and 6 year old girl. Wife and I have been married for 17 years this month. We run a rather tight ship but nothing to the extent of saying sir and drill instructor type atmosphere. We are strict, like most parents I would assume, but not over the top by any means.
That being said we've been having a hell of a time with out soon to be 16 year old. Hes not stop disrespectful, now is starting to swear infront of us, and 2 days ago threatened he was suicidal. A quick note on that, hes using it to hurt us, hes never said it before and doesn't display any signs or symptoms of depression. Hate to say it but its more like first world problems. He had a girlfriend and we didn't allow him to talk to her passed a certain hour on the phone or internet. Thats one of his main reasons...
Anyway, we've been having issues since school started last week. We told him hes not allowed to get a ride to school with his friend down the street. This kid is reckless and we just told him no. He did it first day, we said you're grounded. Second day he road home, 3rd day he rode to and from school. All these days he also has been going to lunch off campus, which without a note from us, isn't allowed.
SO after grounding him and talking to him about it, we told him we will call the police next time he gets in his vehicle. It didn't work, all he did was say im suicidal and its because of you, me the father. His reasons, which he didn't give, are really because he can't do what he wants to do. Hes not bullied, not depressed...etc its literally because we refuse to take him or allow him to hang out with this girl.
So I did something I know isn't the best. I had taken away his 2 favorite things, his ipod and nintendo ds earlier. He fiends for them like crack so figured it would work. It did for a bit but after he did his little suicide thing, laughed at us about calling the police I went and got his stuff said here, you win.
I told him he has two options. Option A, do what you're told, follow the rules and be apart of this family. Option B, do what ever you want, without breaking the law or getting me in trouble. I told him option B will also mean he cannot get our support beyond food, clothing, and shelter. Meaning if he wants special clothes, a cord for his ipod (which he no longer has because it was mine), and rides he has to pay for it. He has no job but put in an app to a DQ near by which we all ready told him no, school comes first.
THis is getting way too long I see, im tryin to shorten it as people might give up reading at this point. The point I was trying to make was you need us. You're only 15/16 and you still need our support, not only our family/love support but financial. I figured once he saw he doesn't have any means of income, can't get anything he wants anymore, has no rides...etc he'd be like ok I get it. Well, hes not getting it.
I need him to get help, but I am on the worst insurance known to man kind and they won't pay for it. I am flat broke being a military vet. I need him to be put in counselling of some sort and I don't think the school will do much, maybe like a 20 min talk and he'll just say its all good.
Lastly, part of the reason I don't call the police is I have ptsd and panic attacks. If I call the cops my anxiety goes into overdrive and I have to leave the situation and get medicine. That and im trying all I can to not have him get a criminal record, yet. Hes walking on ice in march, seems stable to him buts going to crack any min.
Any help would be appreciated and I will answer any and all questions to clarify things.
Jim