So last school year, my oldest son got into some trouble with his friend and classmate at school. I received a call from the school and they told me that DS1 'punched X in the face on the playground'. I got the school about 20 minutes after it happened and spoke to both the kids and the principal. My son was pretty upset when I got there. He was crying and was having a hard time talking. What we got out of him as far as why he did it is, 'I just lost it." I asked X if he had any idea why my son would have done that and he said that he kind of 'rushed at him' like he was going to push him, but didn't push him. X was completely fine. He didn't have even the slightest welt or red spot where my son hit him. He didn't even seem hurt or upset. He seemed like he felt bad for my son.
So my guy got suspended for a couple of days. He went back to school and the two boys were back to friends. I should also mention that these two have been friends for a long time and my son kind of idolizes this other boy. He is popular, athletic, and considered 'cool'. X is what I call a Eddie Haskell type. To grown ups, he is super nice and polite. When he doesn't think a grown up is around, different story. I overheard him bullying the hell out of my guy when he thought I was out of the house. I was pretty surprised at what I heard from his mouth.
This is where my big mistake comes in. I didn't call X's parents. I was leaving the next morning for a short trip and my son stayed with his father that night and the next several days. I assumed that his dad would talk to X's parents. Well, he didn't. And when I picked my guy up from school on Monday X's mom met me in the parking lot. We started to talk about what happened. Very quickly she took a super aggressive stance (legs apart, arms crossed) and started to tell me a bunch of really not nice things, including, but not limited to; my son can take your son, we told X to hit back, your kid has problems, the other kids make fun of X for being friends with your son. She kind of just went on and I didn't say anything. I had my younger son in my arms (he was 4 months old at the time) and we were at school, and I just wasn't going to get into it there with all the kids and parents around.
I went home, called the school to let them know that X's parents gave permission, and encouraged X to kick my son's butt and if they could keep an eye on them at school I sure would appreciate it. They said they would, also mentioned that after a week, the boys were totally over the incident and it would be best to let things go. X's parents wanted to talk to my son about what happened. So with me and his dad present, we all met after school so they could say their peace. The mom of X didn't say anything. The dad did, and he handled things a lot better. But he was still unwilling to put any of the blame on his son.
Ok, sorry!!! this is getting really long! So, I decided that I wasn't going to let my son go to X's house because I no longer felt X's mom would keep my guy safe. A couple years before this, my son was at his house for a sleep over and one of the other kids punched my son in the stomach. My son spent the rest of the night in bed while the others played. I didn't find out about any of this until he came home the next day. I asked him if he told X's mom, and he said he did, and she said suck it up and stop being a baby. So.... along with what she had just told me about my son, I figured enough is enough and he just can't go there any more.
Sooo.... to wrap it up, my son wants to have this boy over this weekend. This is one of his only friends, and I don't know what I am supposed to do now. I really don't want this kid over. Mostly because I do not want to deal with his mom on any level. When this all happened, I thought that I could just deal with X's dad. He seemed to be much more level headed about all of this. Not long after this happened, his dad died tragically in a car accident. Ok people, what should I do? I don't trust his mom.
So my guy got suspended for a couple of days. He went back to school and the two boys were back to friends. I should also mention that these two have been friends for a long time and my son kind of idolizes this other boy. He is popular, athletic, and considered 'cool'. X is what I call a Eddie Haskell type. To grown ups, he is super nice and polite. When he doesn't think a grown up is around, different story. I overheard him bullying the hell out of my guy when he thought I was out of the house. I was pretty surprised at what I heard from his mouth.
This is where my big mistake comes in. I didn't call X's parents. I was leaving the next morning for a short trip and my son stayed with his father that night and the next several days. I assumed that his dad would talk to X's parents. Well, he didn't. And when I picked my guy up from school on Monday X's mom met me in the parking lot. We started to talk about what happened. Very quickly she took a super aggressive stance (legs apart, arms crossed) and started to tell me a bunch of really not nice things, including, but not limited to; my son can take your son, we told X to hit back, your kid has problems, the other kids make fun of X for being friends with your son. She kind of just went on and I didn't say anything. I had my younger son in my arms (he was 4 months old at the time) and we were at school, and I just wasn't going to get into it there with all the kids and parents around.
I went home, called the school to let them know that X's parents gave permission, and encouraged X to kick my son's butt and if they could keep an eye on them at school I sure would appreciate it. They said they would, also mentioned that after a week, the boys were totally over the incident and it would be best to let things go. X's parents wanted to talk to my son about what happened. So with me and his dad present, we all met after school so they could say their peace. The mom of X didn't say anything. The dad did, and he handled things a lot better. But he was still unwilling to put any of the blame on his son.
Ok, sorry!!! this is getting really long! So, I decided that I wasn't going to let my son go to X's house because I no longer felt X's mom would keep my guy safe. A couple years before this, my son was at his house for a sleep over and one of the other kids punched my son in the stomach. My son spent the rest of the night in bed while the others played. I didn't find out about any of this until he came home the next day. I asked him if he told X's mom, and he said he did, and she said suck it up and stop being a baby. So.... along with what she had just told me about my son, I figured enough is enough and he just can't go there any more.
Sooo.... to wrap it up, my son wants to have this boy over this weekend. This is one of his only friends, and I don't know what I am supposed to do now. I really don't want this kid over. Mostly because I do not want to deal with his mom on any level. When this all happened, I thought that I could just deal with X's dad. He seemed to be much more level headed about all of this. Not long after this happened, his dad died tragically in a car accident. Ok people, what should I do? I don't trust his mom.