In a fairer world, children would instinctively know that their parents, guardians, and child care providers want to give all those they care about/for equal attention. In an even fairer world, parents, guardians, and child care providers could give all of their attention to all of their children/charges all of the time. However, as we all know, these fantasies are a far cry from reality. In fact, there are many, many problems that parents, guardians, and child care providers have to deal with that concern the distribution of attention.
While there are many different kinds of problems we could discuss (e.g., children who feel that they must compete against one of their parents for the attention of the other, children that aren't given sufficient attention in school, children that constantly demand the full, undivided attention of their parents, parents who feel that their children give their husbands or wives more attention than they give them, etc.), I want to focus first on two common ones that concern siblings: (1) siblings who feel they have to vie with each other for the attention of their parents, and (2) children that are reluctant or altogether unwilling to share the attention of their parents with their siblings.
As a starting point for our discussion, I would like you to share with the community how you would resolve the main problems illustrated by each of the following two scenarios:
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While there are many different kinds of problems we could discuss (e.g., children who feel that they must compete against one of their parents for the attention of the other, children that aren't given sufficient attention in school, children that constantly demand the full, undivided attention of their parents, parents who feel that their children give their husbands or wives more attention than they give them, etc.), I want to focus first on two common ones that concern siblings: (1) siblings who feel they have to vie with each other for the attention of their parents, and (2) children that are reluctant or altogether unwilling to share the attention of their parents with their siblings.
As a starting point for our discussion, I would like you to share with the community how you would resolve the main problems illustrated by each of the following two scenarios:
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Scenario One
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Katy (seven years-old) and Tom (six years-old) have been vying with each other for the attention of their parents since they both could talk. Each goes out of his or her way to downplay or draw attention away from the other's successes and steal the attention of his or her parents from the other. Each is hurt when his or her sibling receives attention and he or she does not. Each only feels important when he or she is the center of attention and, even when his or her parents give both he or she and his or her sibling attention at the same time, he or she is discontented.
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Scenario Two
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Sadie (five years-old) and Bridget (four years-old) are two very different sisters. Sadie is shy and quiet, while Bridget is outgoing and wild. Bridget craves attention and is always trying to get it. She tries to be with her parents and be the center of their attention as often as possible. She follows close behind her parents wherever they go. She jumps at the chance to get up on their laps when they sit down and stays on until they get up. She doesn't like sharing attention with her sister. She doesn't care that her sister gets much less attention than her because she thinks her sister does not ask for it. Bridget also can be manipulative in her efforts to get attention and often tries to steal attention from Sadie. Sadie would like more attention, but is too timid to compete with her sister for it. She often goes off and plays alone when she feels left out despite her parents attempts to try to make her feel included.
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