public restrooms - dads and daughters...

[pwsowner]

I've never had any concern about this before. I just did what made sense to me, but I'm curious if the majority agree with how I deal with it.

If a dad and daughter, under 5, are out in public and the daughter has to go to the bathroom, is he supposed to take her in the mens room or the ladies room if there is no family washroom?

I don't have children, but have spent a lot of time taking care of children, and have on many occasion had to take a little girl to the washroom when she wasn't old enough to go herself. Common sense just told me to take her in one of the stalls in the mens room. I've done that many times and have never had a strange look or negative remark from any men in their, but I was doing some research and came across that subject, and it appears that many people say the man should take her in the ladies room because it's all stalls, unlike the open urinals in mens rooms. Doesn't make sense to me. The only time I would ever go in a ladies room was if someone was crying for help and there were no ladies around to go in, or if I took an older girl to the washroom and she ended up needing help and there was no one else in there.

Family washrooms are very handy, but not everywhere. If there are only public washrooms for men or women, which one do you say the dad and daughter should use?

I decided to make this a poll to get more of an idea on the ratio of opinions.

 

[cybele]

Mens room.

By my view, it goes by the adult. Family rooms are pretty much stock standard here now, but when my 16yr old was little I didn't take him into the mens room just because he was a boy, he always came into the womens room with me.

Same deal with my husband, he always took our girls into the mens room.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

Disabled toilet

 

[akmom]

A child under 5 goes into whichever restroom is appropriate for the adult. No one is offended by the presence of a preschooler in their restroom! It is not, however, appropriate for an adult male to barge into a ladies' restroom. So definitely use the men's if she needs help. And vice versa.

 

[singledad]

For me, with my DD, it WAS in this order

First choice – family restroom

Second choice – wait (not really possible with a 3-4 year old )

Third choice disabled toilet (although I actually hate using this option, but that’s another discussion).

Fourth choice – men’s room.

When she was really little, I would take her into the men’s room if she HAD to go, or use a potty if there is a possibility of getting her some privacy (it’s not like you can whip out a potty in the middle of a shopping mall, LOL). However, I also made a point of simply not using malls/restaurants that don’t have family bathrooms. That did sometimes involve driving a bit further, but it was very important to me, especially as she got older and it just started feeling less appropriate to take her into the men’s room (not to mention she didn’t want to anymore).

Fortunately she is now reaching the age where I can send her into the ladies room alone, although I confess, I stand outside worrying about her (and probably looking more than a little creepy) until she comes out again, safely. She is perfectly capable of doing her business by herself and washing her hands and everything (as long a she can reach the soap), but I do worry about her safety any time she is out of my sight in public...

 

[Andrew W.]

I can't imagine there is any question.

The whole idea of separate rest rooms is to keep the people who have problems with these things happy.

Anyone who would think a little girl in the men's room inappropriate would be even more bothered by the idea of a man in the ladies' room.

If you are out alone and have one of each, there isn't any option anyway.

The only reason I ever entered a women's room is when I had one still in diapers and the management informed me there were changing facilities in there when there were none in the men's room. That is much less common today, I am sure.

 

[Xero]

You'd take her into the men's room. I only have boys, but I have always taken them into the women's restroom with me (it is VERY rare to find any type of separated or "family" restroom around here - the mall has one, I think that's it). I don't see any difference with girls in a men's room, though. Recently my oldest has been going in the men's room by himself (I would never go in the opposite gender restroom as an adult, that's not acceptable, whereas little ones in the opposite gender restroom are acceptable). He has been going on his own most of the time for probably the last couple of months (so like 5 and a half). He thinks it's just too cool to use the urinals lol.

 

[ZionsRodeVos]

I always took my daughter into the mens room with me until she was old enough to go by herself into the ladies room.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

. I don't see any difference with girls in a men's room, though.

There is a little difference. Women's' room is always cubicles with closed doors, while men's urinals are quite "open view"

I prefer disabled toilets

 

[Xero]

There is a little difference. Women's' room is always cubicles with closed doors, while men's urinals are quite "open view"

I prefer disabled toilets

I've seen the inside of a men's room LOL. Every men's room I've ever seen (or been told of) has private stalls as well as urinals, not *only* urinals. I don't see why it would be any different where you live. Pretty sure men don't poop in urinals. Ha. Unless you think they should only be allowed to poop at home. lol Plus some men probably just like to go in private in general, I imagine. Hence the obligatory private stalls alongside the optional use of a urinal.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

I know there are cubicles in men's rooms. but what i meant, a little girl getting to see strange men pee -- not everybody's comfortable with this thing

P.s. about poopoo in urinal, my DH recently told he saw that in McDonalds toilet...

 

[babysitter]

Men should take children into the men's room. Women should take children into the women's room. Except when there's an emergency, grown men and women should always stick to their designated facilities.

 

[pwsowner]

Fortunately she is now reaching the age where I can send her into the ladies room alone, although I confess, I stand outside worrying about her (and probably looking more than a little creepy) until she comes out again, safely. She is perfectly capable of doing her business by herself and washing her hands and everything (as long a she can reach the soap), but I do worry about her safety any time she is out of my sight in public...

I've done the same. For a while, I was giving a friend of mine a break now and then by taking her 2 daughters for a day. They were 4 and 6 the first time I had the restroom decision. If the 6 year old had to go, she went in the ladies room while I stood outside with the 4 year old. If they both had to go, I took them both in with me because I would not even think about leaving the 6yo outside the room while taking the 4yo in. It got much easier a year later. The 5yo would just go in with her 7yo sister.

 

[pwsowner]

The only reason I ever entered a women's room is when I had one still in diapers and the management informed me there were changing facilities in there when there were none in the men's room. That is much less common today, I am sure.

Many of the rest rooms around here have change tables in the mens room. I've never needed to use on yet, but very nice to have.

 

[pwsowner]

There is a little difference. Women's' room is always cubicles with closed doors, while men's urinals are quite "open view"

I prefer disabled toilets

That's the big issue that was mentioned many times in other sites, but like some replies said, if men use them properly, there is nothing to see when you walk past them to the cubicle with the real toilet. When I took the girls in, I did have them look away from the urinals while we went in. The first time I ever brought them in one, I explained our fancy toilets first so they would know and one time when there was no one in there, I let them see them. I still remember, the youngest one asked how we use them. :laugh:

 

[pwsowner]

One reason some people were saying not to take them into a mens room, other than the urinals, was cleanliness. Some were claiming that mens rooms were too dirty. Many years ago I was a janitor in an office building for a while and cleaning bathrooms after hours was one of my jobs. I've seen both be pretty disgusting. That's why one thing I always do is wipe the seat with disinfectant wipes before letting the girls use it.

Handicapped stalls are handy, no pun intended, but most places here don't have them. Some places do have a family room though, and that's nice, but when a child has to go, it'll be at whatever place we are at.

There've been a few times when I took them to another city, usually the kids and the mother, and the kids would have to go on the way. If they couldn't wait, we would just pull over and open the doors to give them some privacy. Much less hassle than worrying about a public bathroom.

 

[cybele]

Women's toilets can be completely vile so I don't buy that argument.
My personal favourite was used sanitary pad stuck on the back of the toilet door with a big circle drawn around it at the supermarket.

 

[singledad]

For me, the biggest problem with using handicapped bathrooms, is that they are meant for, well, handicapped people. The thing is that disabled bathrooms are about more than accessibility - many people who suffer from paraplegia/quadriplegia or anything in between (and probably a few other conditions I don’t even understand), don’t have great bladder control, and can’t sit and wait while our toddlers are using the bathroom meant for them - they simply can’t hold it in. That is why I only use the disabled bathroom as an absolute last resort (especially if there is only one, as is often the case) – I would hate to be the cause of some disabled person having to suffer the indignity of losing control of their bladder before they can access the toilet...

 

[TabascoNatalie]

SD, I get what you mean, but... In my whole life I never saw a queue or someone waiting outside of disabled toilet (except when other toilets broke down and it was the only toilet available). So such chance, I guess, is extremely rare.

 

[Andrew W.]

Many of the rest rooms around here have change tables in the mens room. I've never needed to use on yet, but very nice to have.

Yes, now it is very common. It was much less so eighteen years ago.

I imagine it is extremely rare in newer buildings for there to be a changing table in only one of the restrooms, as well, although I no longer keep track of that. It might even be illegal now, or at least prohibited in government buildings or to certain organizations receiving government funds.