"Just lay off him, will ya?" VENTING...

[TammyZed]

You keep posting about some "dark and haunted" past, but I guess I missed that post. I hesitate to give any opinions not knowing all the facts...but I don't think letting someone treat your kid is healthy.

You didn't miss anything. I never went into detail.

Basically, what happened: Morgan moved in with this family friend who took advantage of him in every possible way. He used Morgan for sex, started him on drugs, and tore any self-esteem that Morgan had at that point to shreds. Morgan fell into some dangerous behavior. He went to school high, he vandalized private property at this guy's request, and became very depressed. At sixteen, he was involved in the kind of party lifestyle that most people can't even keep up with in their twenties. He went to school exhausted. He took drugs to keep him awake and more to get to sleep, and the whole time in between there was a man 30 years his senior who wouldn't take no for an answer. Morgan lost a lot of weight, had a major seizure at school (he has epilepsy, but this was worse than usual), and ended up in the hospital where he became a suicide risk and had to be treated for dependency on prescription pills.

There's a lot that went on that I don't even know about. Morgan doesn't like talking about it. He sees a therapist to help him deal with it, but it terrifies me when he sometimes brings it up because he's so matter-of-fact about it. When I took him shopping last week he said while he was trying on a pair of jeans that that awful man "would have liked these a lot". He was devastated when he couldn't see him anymore, and even more so when I wanted legal action. I dropped it only because Morgan begged me to, which, I know, might not have been the best course of action.

Living at home is basically the better of two evils, I guess.

Emma has dance tonight, and Morgan is going over to a friend's, so I'm going to have a long talk with Dai and see if anything can be done. You all are right. I can't let him treat Morgan the way he does.

 

[aliinnc]

You go Fooser!

Tammy, stiffen up that backbone and stand up for your son. You cannot allow this abuse to continue. Your son has a difficult enough row to hoe, being gay in our society. He needs his home to be a safe place where he receives unconditional love. It is your responsibility to provide that for him.

 

[FooserX]

That's a horrible story Tammy! :-(

 

[Mindy]

No kidding, with "family friends" like that, who needs enemies... Poor kid.

 

[Ari2]

Emma has dance tonight, and Morgan is going over to a friend's, so I'm going to have a long talk with Dai and see if anything can be done. You all are right. I can't let him treat Morgan the way he does.

You need to change the situation with your husband and make sure your son is getting adequate help. IMO you also need to get help yourself. You allowed your son to get into the situation with this "family friend" and you allowed your husband to treat your son so terribly, after such a traumatic experience (whether Morgan realizes it or not). You need to find the strength inside yourself to accept responsibility for your role in these situations and your son's abuse and to find a way to make a healthy environment for both your children (even if your husband treats your daughter wonderfully she should not be exposed to his interactions with your son).

I hope you have a productive talk with your husband, but I also wonder if anything can be done by such a talk. You need a plan to ensure the well-being of your son and support to carry out it out, regardless of what your husband may say tonight. At a minimum, I hope your husband agrees to therapy alone and with you and your son to resolve his anger toward Morgan and to attempt to heal some of the wounds Morgan must carry.

This seems like a terrible situation. I hope you can find a better life for you and your children soon.