Hi all! So I have a question about my 4 year old and school. He just turned 4 in June, so he is young (excuses, excuses, I know). So here is the story...
So my son turned 4 on May 31, he started school June 4. School is actually a day care at a private school loosely following the pre-K program he will start (hopefully) in the fall. The school is amazing, lots of love, lots of activity etc etc....
His background--
He has went to an in home daycare since age of 1 yr old, total of two. First one awesome, second one duration of 10 months only mediocre. He has always been head strong and independent...but his mom is head strong and independent so I get it. Never really any behaviors out of the ordinary for toddler/preschool boy. No learning delays or developmental delays. Has always been more comfy around adults than children, I always correlated with being an only child....
The Issue--
He started school approx 6 weeks ago. First 2 weeks okay behavior, horrible drop offs! Crying, break downs etc, as I understand this is normal for a new place of care. However now he has great drop offs and is excited for school and activities. Reports liking school and his teachers but when he gets to school and starts his day he is sooooo mean. Hitting and not listening, disrespectful and potty mouth. I have had meeting with teachers and separate meeting with principal. Now have another meeting with both setup to "plan his future at the school." Principal reported to me today that the other kids do not want to play with him because they are afraid of him. The reports I get are amazing as in he told another kid he would "shoot his head off" and "break their arms off". I do not speak like this, and I have notified any adult in contact with him that he may not rough house, threaten, wrestle, play fight etc etc even in play to avoid rule confusion. He does not watch violent TV. Another issue is he is always exhausted when I pick him up, yesterday he actually collapsed after coloring and I found him sleeping on the activity table at pick up!
At Home~~
He is great. He does not hit or throw too many fits. He is respectful and uses perfect manners. He does get defiant or rowdy at times, but mainly when tired. He is very loving and affectionate and happy and social.
Actions so far~~
Everything. I have used time out, rewards, bribes, taking toys away, deep talks, ignoring problem behaviors....nothing helps
I have been very strict with bed time 8 pm for a wake up at 6 am. Also have a good routine and diet.
I have a counselor appt made and a PCP appt both next week, but I do not know what to do....from a medical perspective I do not feel as if he has ADHD or mental issues, I feel if this were the case he would display signs at all times not just 8a-3p....also he has appropriate emotional responses to issues, such as guilt, saddness, pride, happiness, excitement, etc.
From a mothers perspective this is taking over our lives and my sanity...and I fear he will be expelled soon, and understand why
The only answer I have at this point is kind of exaggerated. But he has an ENT (Ear, nose and throat) doctor following him because of enlarged tonsils. Options are to watch and let him grow into them or removal. We were waiting for more observation, however the size of his tonsils affect him in a manner such as adult sleep apnea which disrupts sleep cycles. The ENT has reported direct links from disrupted sleep cycles and behavior issues and even misdiagnosed ADHD cases....
So my son turned 4 on May 31, he started school June 4. School is actually a day care at a private school loosely following the pre-K program he will start (hopefully) in the fall. The school is amazing, lots of love, lots of activity etc etc....
His background--
He has went to an in home daycare since age of 1 yr old, total of two. First one awesome, second one duration of 10 months only mediocre. He has always been head strong and independent...but his mom is head strong and independent so I get it. Never really any behaviors out of the ordinary for toddler/preschool boy. No learning delays or developmental delays. Has always been more comfy around adults than children, I always correlated with being an only child....
The Issue--
He started school approx 6 weeks ago. First 2 weeks okay behavior, horrible drop offs! Crying, break downs etc, as I understand this is normal for a new place of care. However now he has great drop offs and is excited for school and activities. Reports liking school and his teachers but when he gets to school and starts his day he is sooooo mean. Hitting and not listening, disrespectful and potty mouth. I have had meeting with teachers and separate meeting with principal. Now have another meeting with both setup to "plan his future at the school." Principal reported to me today that the other kids do not want to play with him because they are afraid of him. The reports I get are amazing as in he told another kid he would "shoot his head off" and "break their arms off". I do not speak like this, and I have notified any adult in contact with him that he may not rough house, threaten, wrestle, play fight etc etc even in play to avoid rule confusion. He does not watch violent TV. Another issue is he is always exhausted when I pick him up, yesterday he actually collapsed after coloring and I found him sleeping on the activity table at pick up!
At Home~~
He is great. He does not hit or throw too many fits. He is respectful and uses perfect manners. He does get defiant or rowdy at times, but mainly when tired. He is very loving and affectionate and happy and social.
Actions so far~~
Everything. I have used time out, rewards, bribes, taking toys away, deep talks, ignoring problem behaviors....nothing helps
I have been very strict with bed time 8 pm for a wake up at 6 am. Also have a good routine and diet.
I have a counselor appt made and a PCP appt both next week, but I do not know what to do....from a medical perspective I do not feel as if he has ADHD or mental issues, I feel if this were the case he would display signs at all times not just 8a-3p....also he has appropriate emotional responses to issues, such as guilt, saddness, pride, happiness, excitement, etc.
From a mothers perspective this is taking over our lives and my sanity...and I fear he will be expelled soon, and understand why
The only answer I have at this point is kind of exaggerated. But he has an ENT (Ear, nose and throat) doctor following him because of enlarged tonsils. Options are to watch and let him grow into them or removal. We were waiting for more observation, however the size of his tonsils affect him in a manner such as adult sleep apnea which disrupts sleep cycles. The ENT has reported direct links from disrupted sleep cycles and behavior issues and even misdiagnosed ADHD cases....