taking the kids out of the country...

[Antoinette]

trust me i have been up at night i have been tossing and turning with this decision but at the end of the day neither of us actually has "custody" of the children so i technically have no right not to.

he has been at me for a while to do this, and Xero trust me i don't really want to do this but his mum is quite unwell. probably not in a way that would prevent her from coming here but it is in a "just incase" thing. she has breast cancer but is quite a religious woman and has refused to be treated for it so David wants to take them over there to see their grandmother one last time (we both agree that the power of prayer is EXTREMELY unlikely to cure cancer)

(i know that i probably should have entered this into the initial post but it didn't really seem too important because the question was more "as a parent would you let your ex spouse do this" thing. i didn't want clouded opinions based on pity lol. i know that sounds bad but it isnt meant to)

i know that it will be hard both for me and my children to do this and i am not 100% decided yet i am talking to my lawyer first just to make sure there aren't more problems that could occur considering David's past. this isn't something i should do but it is something i feel like i SHOULD do if you get where i am coming from.

 

[IADad]

I know it must be agonizing, but I think you covered all the important things, and it's agood sign that he didn't get petty and argue with you. You're in a difficult situation not being married to the dad, and him having family so far away. It's hard for many of us to KNOW exactly what we'd do if pressed into the exact situation.

I think you've put good assurances in, and I guess you have all the way until July to see how David's going to perform. Is he really changing or just putting on a show for you? It's your chance to either not bail him out, or at least point out, "what are you going to do when you're on your way to america and don't have me to bail you out?"

Good luck.

 

[Annalisa]

I hope this all works out well for you! I may be biased because the following is based on personal experience, but I hope it to be a cautionary tale. When I was 8, my mother took me on a working 'holiday' from Australia to England for six months WITH my father's signed permission. Once we were there she remarried within a couple of months, and changed both our names. My poor Father eventually found me again when I was 21, after my mother had told me he was never really my father and that he never wanted the cuckoo in his nest anyway. I'm sorry if this scares you, but as far as I kknow this kind of thing happens all the time. And, once your children are on foreign soil it can be a logistical nightmare to use the law system to get them back again with or without the lawyer's letter. That letter will help, especially if your country has an extradition treaty with America. But, do remember that it's fairly easy to disappear by using a different name.

I would never allow my children out of the country with an ex, not after what my mother put my father through. If there's any way you could go with them, then do it. If your ex feels you don't trust him, then so be it; if you felt you could trust him he probably wouldn't be an 'ex', right?

Good luck! I hope everything works out well for you in this

 

[asm88]

bad idea