Unsettled people having kids...

[musicmom]

What are your views on this?

I know a girl who is a wreck.(She's 24)She's the daughter of a friend who passed away. She's been arrested, does drugs, drinks like crazy and she just told me she's pg. I was ok and happy for her because I just assumed it was accidental and didn't want her to feel bad.
I found out they were trying!! Why would someone try and get pg if you do not have a place to live yourself, you do drugs, you drink and party, you don't have a job or stable life.
There is no future of anything. Even the father of this child is a dead beat. I don't even know what to say to her at this point. Why would you bring a child into this world if you can not take care of yourself?

 

[fallon]

I'm not sure but it happens more and more. Seems people think just because you can get all kinds of help from the gov. that makes it OK

 

[musicmom]

That's what I'm thinking Fallon. I would hope once they have the baby they get on track and realize "omg what did I do to this child" There really needs to be a cap on govt funding. Although, she lives in Alaska...I wonder if they have programs like that there. I don't think it's that easy. She has no idea how far along she is, can't afford a Dr. She is still drinking.

 

[FooserX]

Could be worse....could be Yulia.

 

[musicmom]

Can we have one post without useless info and that will only bring her crawling over to this thread........Leave her fleas on the circ conversation.

 

[ljmahr]

The gov't help was my second thought. My first thought reading this was, does she think it will make her relationship better? She must not realize how hard its going to be to continue her lifestyle carrying a baby with her everywhere.

 

[musicmom]

I think when you're are drinking and high a baby might sound good at the moment.....but I think they should have thought this one over one morning when they were both hung over. Set the alarm every two hours.
I bet you anything this "guy" who she's known three months will realize he doesn't want to play house.

 

[ljmahr]

Yeah that is usually what happens. But god knows you can't convinced her of that. She needs to realize that she made a mistake and own up to it. For some people having a baby makes you grow up, hopefully that is what it will do for her.

 

[Amber]

I feel sorry for the kid, and hope she comes to her senses soon, either by adoption or straightening her act up. I'll never understand why some women think having a baby will make things ok, or why they feel the need to use the government.

 

[musicmom]

I hope so. I'm pretty sure she is still on probation. She seems to not be all there so I'm wondering if she'll get it once the baby is here. It's people that her that let anyone into their house, smoke around their newborns, get drunk, etc.
I don't think I can talk "mommy" with her because we have totally different views.

 

[ljmahr]

And talking "mommy" with someone who doesn't see it like you do or maybe in a sensible way, will only push them farther away.

 

[musicmom]

I don't think she'll get an abortion if they were trying to get pg and did. She has no idea of how far along she is. Who knows what this baby has already been subjected to She thinks she's between 15 weeks or seven months....not sure. How screwed up is that?

 

[ljmahr]

Oh my goodness! Maybe you could try talking to her about her lifestyle and about adoption? If its your deceased friends daughter, you can't really stand by and say nothing. At least I wouldn't feel right doing it.

 

[musicmom]

She would never go for adoption she purposely got pg. I've let her know in a round about way that her lifestyle will have to change. I just wrote her and said "are you two getting a house together? and When did you both get jobs? I must have missed you telling me that" I know its snotty in a way but its time for her to think.

 

[ljmahr]

Yeah, it is time for her to think. I am just baffled at why people like that would try to get pg.

 

[musicmom]

I don't know either. She had to great parents who loved her. It was her choice to get into the situations she did. IF she has a felony on her record how would she support her child?
I think people like these think ...oh if I have a few kids I could sit on my butt and get foodstamps, a free place to live and insurance...why bother. I can always find beer money or free pot.

 

[Amber]

My ex's cousin had 2 boys. All she did was sit around and collect welfare. She sold her food stamps for money. Now that it's on the card, she goes and buys people groceries and takes their money for drugs. Despicable person, if you ask me.

 

[meow_173]

Well, i've always said to give people the benefit of the doubt. When she's pregnant see if she still does drugs, drinks etc. Maybe on a lighter note, this baby will turn her life around.
Of course on the other hand some people just don't change. But try not to pass too much judgement yet, you never know who can surprise you!

 

[musicmom]

I don't want to pass judgement. I've known her since she was four years old. I hope and pray she proves my thoughts wrong.

 

[Kaytee]

I know how you feel on this one. My best friend (in name since I have known her for 12 years) is 38 weeks pg right now and her and her husband are both....well..... not ready to be parents. I hope that the baby will be for the best and evertthing will be dandy, but history has shown me that it is just going to get worse