so some of you might know my situation, if not i will kinda recap. me and my husband have joint custody of his 3 1/2 yr old son. We take him 7 days, real mom takes the other 7. Grandmaw babysits, always has. When he was 1 1 /2 -2 he went through a stage, i guess terrible two's. He was sooo angry, he would hit, bite, slap, throw fits. Well it got better we are proud to say. We haven't had any real trouble with him till now. He has been HORRIBLE these last few weeks, he doesn't listen to anyone. When you fuse him he puts his fist up to you like he will punch you. If you grab his hands to either put his fist down and get his attention, he bites you. He is angry with everyone. All he talks about is shooting people dead, people dieing. Saying he wants to shoot everyone. We have tried time out, spanking, talking,,, nothing seems to work. We took his toy guns away and told him that it's not nice to talk like that, he can only shoot birds when he goes hunting( which he has never done) he has never even seen a real gun, just toys, he tells everyone that his dad has a gun and he will get it from him and shoot them. We don't have any guns at our house. Im scared of where this violent behavior is going. We took him on vacation this weekend and he gave us soo much trouble, he hit all the kids. My mom walked in on him telling my nephews that he had a gun and he was gonna shoot them dead. On our way home they had a wreck on side the interstate, a car had flipped. When me and my husband saw it i said " Oh no.. " he looked up and said,, yeah the man's dead,, they all died and laughed. My husband told he that wasnt nice, i told him we had to pray that the people weren't hurt. Then when we get home there was a movie on USA with a man who shot another man. I didn't even notice that was playing on TV, we were in the middle of unpacking,well when he saw the cop shot the man, he lauged and said" The cop shot the man, he's dead, now he is gonna die" and laughed, when i heard what he said i immediatly changed it and he yelled" Hey i wanna watch that" i said no and he tried hitting me, Im 8 months pregnant, and as much as i love my stepson, i have to think about my unborn child and what type of behavior is around him and what my stepson might do. I know that kids are kids, but to be this interested in death at such a young age, and never be around it, i dont understand where he gets it from.. the only thing he watches is movies we buy, like Shrek,Ants,, stuff like that, he has a TV in his room but it stays on PBS or Nick Jr... please some one help us ??
violent behavior getting worst !!...
- Thread starter stepmother22
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I personally would be speaking to doctor and getting the child some help. If you are honestly doing everything you can to stop the behavior and it's continuing then it's time to ask for professional help. I hope things get better for your family
i have thought of that,, but what kind of doctor ?? i called a child phyciatrist and they told me they don't deal with children that young, unless they were abused or something like thatfallon said:
I would start with his ped doctor and ask where they suggest you start.
I'm very sorry you guys are going through this.
I'm very sorry you guys are going through this.
If you're not exposing him to violence, then it's probably mom or school, or somewhere else. In any case, you need to fix the problem...talk with the real mom or school, or his friends. He's getting it from somewhere.
Also, you said you had on the TV and someone got shot and you didn't even notice. I don't mean this in a bad way, but maybe you have been exposing him to things, but just have not realized it.
I would also be enforcing punishment for his reactions (biting, hitting, etc). He needs to know right now that it is not okay!
This is just based on your post, I'm sure there might be other dynamics involved that I don't know about.
Good luck!
Also, you said you had on the TV and someone got shot and you didn't even notice. I don't mean this in a bad way, but maybe you have been exposing him to things, but just have not realized it.
I would also be enforcing punishment for his reactions (biting, hitting, etc). He needs to know right now that it is not okay!
This is just based on your post, I'm sure there might be other dynamics involved that I don't know about.
Good luck!
no that one time was a mistake, i turned it on so he could watch while we were unloading our car but i dont ever turn it on and just leave him, he usually only watches it in his room and i blocked all channels except Nick, Cartoon Network and PBS... we don't let him watch TV with us anymore, we did, he used to lay down and watch the news and the weather till he feel asleep but we stopped that a long time ago,, real mom says she doesn't have cable, im just not sure what to do anymore, we took all the guns away, and me and dad sat him down and explained why we did it,, and he isn't too worried about them but he is still being soo agressive, putting his fist to everyone, telling them to shut up, he doesnt tell us to shut up but he does at grandmaws
i monitor what my child watches, i know that he isn't watching anything violent at our house, yes at night times and some shows on cartoon network are violent, but i dont stick him in his room and make him watch TV all day, he rarely watches tv.. mostly when he wakes up and eats breakfast or lunch, and when im doin chores are he is waiting on me to get dressed.. but mostly he watches movies we buy him, he has certain shows that he wants to watch over and over, like Shrek and Jungle BookHappyMomma said:
The problem is you have joint custody and things are probably NOT going to change when he comes to your house.
This is one of the main reasons my 16 year old step son doesn't come to my home. I do not approve with the way he has been raised and I do not want his behavior around my children. I can only look out for me and mine.
All you can do is to teach yours how to be and hopefully your child will not think the step brother is "cool".
This is one of the main reasons my 16 year old step son doesn't come to my home. I do not approve with the way he has been raised and I do not want his behavior around my children. I can only look out for me and mine.
All you can do is to teach yours how to be and hopefully your child will not think the step brother is "cool".
You and your husband would have a better idea of the types of things your stepson would experience with his mother those other 7 days. Aside from the TV issue, have there been any instances of real world violence he may have encountered? Domestic violence? Violence in the neighborhood? Concerns about abuse or witnessing abuse? Have there been any deaths in the family recently?
From what you wrote, it seems like this was a very sudden change. Changes like that usually accompany some sort of trauma or shock. I agree with the others that you should speak with your pediatrist first. You may also want to check to see if there are any specialists in child psychiatry or psychology.
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
This is the website for the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatrists. You can look on their website to see if there is a psychiatrist certified to work with children in your area. Just because a psychiatrist treats small children doesn't mean that they are highly qualified to do so.
I would also be careful with the medication aspect because many psychiatrist don't do therapy they prescribe medication. That might be more of a reason to seek out a psychologist or therapist.
From what you wrote, it seems like this was a very sudden change. Changes like that usually accompany some sort of trauma or shock. I agree with the others that you should speak with your pediatrist first. You may also want to check to see if there are any specialists in child psychiatry or psychology.
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
This is the website for the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatrists. You can look on their website to see if there is a psychiatrist certified to work with children in your area. Just because a psychiatrist treats small children doesn't mean that they are highly qualified to do so.
I would also be careful with the medication aspect because many psychiatrist don't do therapy they prescribe medication. That might be more of a reason to seek out a psychologist or therapist.