Dadu2004 said:Are you suggesting that "Mom2Many" has had S-E-X before?
Why yes.....yes I am!
LOL Zero....I'm sure Eli and the newest one got here the same way....I think?
Wife still sleeping with 1-year-old...
- Thread starter Quatrix
- Start date
Why yes.....yes I am!
LOL Zero....I'm sure Eli and the newest one got here the same way....I think?
Our daughter slept with us a lot, and by the time she was four and I was expecting our 2nd child I was exhausted. I felt I hadn't had a good night's sleep for 4 years. I couldnt imagine doing the same thing again for another 4 years with child number 2 so we approached keeping him in his cot/ room from about 4 - 5 months onwards, (apart from illnesses, nightmares etc) and he sleeps through much better than his sister - he's four now and a great sleeper. I think you have to see what works for you, for the children and there is no right or wrong way, it's choosing which is least stressful to created a happy home - that's ultimately what the kids want
Xero said:M2M - No way we were just kissing! lol
bahahahahahahahahah!!!! that's how hayleigh was conceived too
Xero said:
Well without going into too much information, I suppose that could happen if things were done in a certain order.
Your wife has sex with your 1 year old?
This is a genuine cause for alarm. I suggest you call your local animal shelter as soon as possible.
This is a genuine cause for alarm. I suggest you call your local animal shelter as soon as possible.
to OP, have you considered getting a king size bed if you don't fit in a queen size bed?
children are only little for so long! bed-sharing with young children can be so much safer than having them sleep in another room.
i didn't co-sleep with my older child, i mean mostly she was in a cot but often came into bed with us, but by all means she was in her room from the beginning. i chose to co sleep with my son and it has been so much better. i really should get a king size as it gets a tight fit when there is 4 of us in bed together!
for some mums, its instinct to sleep in the same bed as their babies.
children are only little for so long! bed-sharing with young children can be so much safer than having them sleep in another room.
i didn't co-sleep with my older child, i mean mostly she was in a cot but often came into bed with us, but by all means she was in her room from the beginning. i chose to co sleep with my son and it has been so much better. i really should get a king size as it gets a tight fit when there is 4 of us in bed together!
for some mums, its instinct to sleep in the same bed as their babies.
I think the biggest issue here isn't co-sleeping. There are pros and cons to that subject alone. The biggest issue is how this behavior is affecting the marriage. A healthy, strong and intimate union between parents is very likely more beneficial to a child than co-sleeping into the toddler stage.
I agree with you. I know many people that can't stand each other yet they think it's better for the kids if they are a couple. The fighting and unhappiness rubbing off on the kids is much more of a danger to the kids than where they sleep.laney.ashmore said:
I am a Father to a 3 year old boy and the little runt is still sleeping with me lol. From day 1 his mother wanted him in bed with us and I really didnt mind for the first 6 months - i loved staring at his super cuteness till i fell a sleep lol, BUT as time goes on they get bigger and the bed starts to feel a lot smaller. it got uncomfortable. ended up on the couch most nights. thats only 50% of the problem..the other 50% is during all this time even from day 1 a disconnection between his mother and I gradually started without even knowing it - that is, until it was too late...
so my advise is either put them in the crib from day 1 OR if your a little to paronoid like me and need to check on them to make sure their still breathing every 20 min lol - then have them in the bed with yas but set a date as to when the little one MUST go in crib..Id say no longer then 6 months for SURE.
Daughter is 15 months old now, and the situation hasn't changed.
She doesn't even take a nap alone. Either my wife takes naps with her or on weekdays my in-laws lie down next to her.
They usually still carry her around until she falls asleep and sometimes sit down and hold her until she wakes up. When I watch her, she has no trouble plopping down on the bed and sleeping when she's tired, so I know it's possible. But they continue to treat my daughter like a newborn and make her dependent on them.
My only chance to get my wife into OUR bed is to catch her when she uses the bathroom in the middle of the night. Our daughter usually wakes up at the same time though, and then they go back to sleep together.
I'm no longer concerned about getting my daughter into the crib because she'd outgrow it soon anyway. She seems to be fine sleeping on the mattress on the floor. But she still needs to learn to sleep alone once in a while.
She doesn't even take a nap alone. Either my wife takes naps with her or on weekdays my in-laws lie down next to her.
They usually still carry her around until she falls asleep and sometimes sit down and hold her until she wakes up. When I watch her, she has no trouble plopping down on the bed and sleeping when she's tired, so I know it's possible. But they continue to treat my daughter like a newborn and make her dependent on them.
My only chance to get my wife into OUR bed is to catch her when she uses the bathroom in the middle of the night. Our daughter usually wakes up at the same time though, and then they go back to sleep together.
I'm no longer concerned about getting my daughter into the crib because she'd outgrow it soon anyway. She seems to be fine sleeping on the mattress on the floor. But she still needs to learn to sleep alone once in a while.
Let me respond to some of the feedback even though I'm a couple of months late. I apologize if I stray more toward marriage than parenting since this is a parenting forum, but obviously the two are connected.
For one, we have considered a king-size bed, but we're getting a little low on space. We're also thinking about moving into a bigger house, though we'd need to hurry up to make it happen before the next baby arrives in October.
Regarding sex, it's not only that. Sometimes it's nice just to sleep next to my wife. But it doesn't seem like she even tries to make time. She wakes up at 8 or 9, goes to work, and comes home after 7. I telecommute but am also busy a lot of the time. We eat, bathe, and go to sleep. Despite four people caring for the daughter, somehow we still have very little free time. That makes me wonder how we're going to manage another baby, but we'll deal with that later.
I don't know about these mythical "quickies" that others mentioned. We get up when our daughter gets up. We hand her off to my wife's parents and go to work and take her back when we get home. We're never alone for even a minute. Either our daughter is with us in the room or my in-laws are somewhere in the house.
Anyway, the 15-month-old is healthy, running around, has a spoken vocabulary of about 10 words, and always impresses us with her developing intelligence. So other than the sleep and intimacy issues, things are good.
For one, we have considered a king-size bed, but we're getting a little low on space. We're also thinking about moving into a bigger house, though we'd need to hurry up to make it happen before the next baby arrives in October.
Regarding sex, it's not only that. Sometimes it's nice just to sleep next to my wife. But it doesn't seem like she even tries to make time. She wakes up at 8 or 9, goes to work, and comes home after 7. I telecommute but am also busy a lot of the time. We eat, bathe, and go to sleep. Despite four people caring for the daughter, somehow we still have very little free time. That makes me wonder how we're going to manage another baby, but we'll deal with that later.
I don't know about these mythical "quickies" that others mentioned. We get up when our daughter gets up. We hand her off to my wife's parents and go to work and take her back when we get home. We're never alone for even a minute. Either our daughter is with us in the room or my in-laws are somewhere in the house.
Anyway, the 15-month-old is healthy, running around, has a spoken vocabulary of about 10 words, and always impresses us with her developing intelligence. So other than the sleep and intimacy issues, things are good.
I know you have received all the advice you need, but I wanted to give you my perspective based on first-hand experience.
I was a single mother, working long hours, waking up at 4:30 in the morning to get ready for work; so starting from about the time her sleep habits changed, when she could roll over, it was just easier for me to lie down with my daughter to get her to sleep. Inevitibly, I would fall asleep next to her. I would wake up around 1:30 and take a shower. In fact, "wet" was one of my daughter's first words in English. She would wake up, feel my hair was wet, and say, "wet."
I did eventually ween her into her own bed with a lot of pain and suffering for us both, but due to numerous reasons, (we moved back to the States and stayed with my folks for a few months where we shared a room; we then traveled and had to share a room; she has asthma and sometimes has very distressed breathing at night; etc.) so she is back in my bed.
I love sleeping with my child. On the rare occasions when I don't sleep with her, I miss her. But I never have a moment alone. I get up, get her ready for school, drop her off, go to work, leave work, pick her up, get her ready for bed, and go to sleep with her. Most or at least many weekends I try to fill her days as much as I can, and the added benefit is that she often falls asleep on the way home and is out for the night. Those times I find myself staying up just for the sake of having some alone time. (Sounds really pitiful now that I put it in black and white.)
My daughter did and still does reach developmental milestones very early. I attribute some of that to the fact that I carried her in the front carrier for hours a day until she was 8 months old, and that I slept with her.
But based on my experience, I would advise everyone to put their child to sleep alone. My sister did it with her second child. We had both moved back to the States at the same time and were all living with our folks when she started putting him down at 6 weeks and letting him cry until he went to sleep. The first night it took nearly an hour. The second night about 10 minutes, and then within a couple of days, he would just go to sleep without crying. (We both were kicking ourselves that we hadn't done that, me with mine and her with her first son.)
He is a much happier child than his older brother, though I know that is mostly just personality. He also speaks very clearly for a 3yo, has the vocab of a 5yo, knows every song ever sung at his daycare, his ABCs, can count to 20, and knows the pledge of allegience.
I would advise putting the child to sleep alone ASAP. The older they get, the harder it will be, and with the new child coming . . .
You need alone time, and I think the child does as well. Fortunately, it is my daughter's personality to be independent, but I think she has developed dependence on me she would not have if she didn't sleep with me.
I was a single mother, working long hours, waking up at 4:30 in the morning to get ready for work; so starting from about the time her sleep habits changed, when she could roll over, it was just easier for me to lie down with my daughter to get her to sleep. Inevitibly, I would fall asleep next to her. I would wake up around 1:30 and take a shower. In fact, "wet" was one of my daughter's first words in English. She would wake up, feel my hair was wet, and say, "wet."
I did eventually ween her into her own bed with a lot of pain and suffering for us both, but due to numerous reasons, (we moved back to the States and stayed with my folks for a few months where we shared a room; we then traveled and had to share a room; she has asthma and sometimes has very distressed breathing at night; etc.) so she is back in my bed.
I love sleeping with my child. On the rare occasions when I don't sleep with her, I miss her. But I never have a moment alone. I get up, get her ready for school, drop her off, go to work, leave work, pick her up, get her ready for bed, and go to sleep with her. Most or at least many weekends I try to fill her days as much as I can, and the added benefit is that she often falls asleep on the way home and is out for the night. Those times I find myself staying up just for the sake of having some alone time. (Sounds really pitiful now that I put it in black and white.)
My daughter did and still does reach developmental milestones very early. I attribute some of that to the fact that I carried her in the front carrier for hours a day until she was 8 months old, and that I slept with her.
But based on my experience, I would advise everyone to put their child to sleep alone. My sister did it with her second child. We had both moved back to the States at the same time and were all living with our folks when she started putting him down at 6 weeks and letting him cry until he went to sleep. The first night it took nearly an hour. The second night about 10 minutes, and then within a couple of days, he would just go to sleep without crying. (We both were kicking ourselves that we hadn't done that, me with mine and her with her first son.)
He is a much happier child than his older brother, though I know that is mostly just personality. He also speaks very clearly for a 3yo, has the vocab of a 5yo, knows every song ever sung at his daycare, his ABCs, can count to 20, and knows the pledge of allegience.
I would advise putting the child to sleep alone ASAP. The older they get, the harder it will be, and with the new child coming . . .
You need alone time, and I think the child does as well. Fortunately, it is my daughter's personality to be independent, but I think she has developed dependence on me she would not have if she didn't sleep with me.