Having a crappy life....

Demona_Mommy91

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Mar 16, 2010
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You're always welcome to throw your two cents in IADad and Yeah, I know where you're coming from. As much as I miss my pink hair I can't afford it and I can't get a job with it so that's the bummer of it all. The only problem is i can't get a job period. lol but I figured it this way, If I get my license that makes me more open to more possibilities and the technical job that I have. I am technically an In-home care giver but without a car, I have no client. XP bummers. lol
 

IADad

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Feb 23, 2009
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I may have missed it somewhere along the line, but why don't you have a license? (I that's something you're sharing with us, don't mean to pry) and what do you need to do now to get one?
 

Demona_Mommy91

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Mar 16, 2010
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When I was sixteen and everyone was getting their licenses i was doing drugs and running around and partying so I decided I didn't want mine and being an In home care giver I basically take care of elderly people but without a license its really hard to get a client cause most of them want transportation.
 

Mom2all

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Nov 25, 2009
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Hey there Demona! Just wanted to put my 2 cents in to. :p

You didn't get this off track in a week.. it'll take a little time and a lot of hard work to get back on the rite path. That being said.. nothing worth having ever comes easy... so hang in there. As long as your fighting for it... it'll get better.

I also think the GED is the way to go. It's faster.. and in the US there is only 1 or 2 colleges that don't take you with it. If in 2 years you can look around and see your life doing better... then one day you can proudly say to your daughter.. I did what was best for us at the time and mean it!

Start calling around. There as lots of grants for single young Mom's. Use them to become great!
 

Xero

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Mar 20, 2008
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That's true, being a single mom in the US gets you pretty much anything paid for. :)
 

Martin

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Apr 18, 2010
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Ok, one adage I have to share with you, just because my kids are sick of hearing it. :rolleyes:

I work in IT and regularly deal with multi year, multi platform projects with budgets in the millions and millions of lines of code and thousands of lines of project plans. And we have a saying I learned to abide by a long time ago.

How do you eat an elephant?
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One bite at a time.

I know it is corny, but it is relevant. You have a great list going there, don't get overwhelmed by the whole thing. Just stay focused on what you can handle, one or two tasks at a time, whatever is comfortable for you. Whenever it threatens to overwhelm you, just narrow your focus, break it down into smaller pieces, something you CAN accomplish, and then get it done. You walk away feeling good because you made some progress, and it helps you move on to the next task. And eventually, the whole elephant gets eaten. :D
 

Xero

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Mar 20, 2008
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I think allowing a disorder to control the way you act will hinder your goals, not a medicine that is designed to help you control yourself.

I was told I had bipolar as a teenager. I was put on like 3 different medicines. All they did was make me feel like a zombie and I felt like it didn't make sense that I needed a pill to control myself. I changed myself and my life a lot since then and I feel I've shaped myself into a new person. I know right from wrong, and I follow my moral instincts not my mood swings. Especially since my little boy's well being and mental health depends on me treating him with control, a cool head, and a reasonable exterior. I never allow myself to lose control over anything my son does. I think that everyone has the power in them to control themselves. I'm not saying it comes naturally, but I am saying that its acheivable. I don't think pills do any magic. Like pain killers, they just mask the problem not heal it. You have to fix yourself.

But this is NOT science, and I can't quote anything supporting me, this is ONLY my personal opinion that I have found through my own life experiences. And everyone is different, so I can't even use this opinion in every case. But I think that if you are just a normal everyday person and that you CAN be normal, that you can teach yourself control. JMHO no offense intended whatsoever (I have been through this myself - although I think it was mostly teenage hormones, and there were no kids involved). My only concern in situations like this is that bad things happen to kids whose parents allow themselves to "lose control" on or around their kids. And kids are so innocent.
 

Xero

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Mar 20, 2008
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Well that sounds normal enough to me. I don't know anyone who has never done that.

What I mean is if the way you act is bad enough that someone thinks you need to be medicated, and you think you have bipolar, then maybe its something to consider working on. If I think something I am doing or the way I am acting is affecting those around me in a negative way, especially my child, I work on it. Everyone can admit to having something they need to work on. Therapists and medicine can work on helping you too, but the biggest part of getting as normal as possible has to be acheived by you and your will to get better.

Having bipolar isn't something that just isn't a big deal. If you have that, it affects everyone around you on a continual basis. Everyone gets frustrated, but bipolar people get "manic" - and for long periods of time, not just at a moments frustration. And when they are not manic, they are depressed. Continually, drastically, and for long periods of time. That's how bipolar is classified. Ever see that old commercial for zoloft? Where they advertise that you're not the only one affected by your depression? Your daughter knows if you're depressed, and the way you act around her wont exactly be positive and normal if you're continually depressed and then suddenly manic around her like that. Bipolar is really serious. Its not just everyday, I'm stressed out so someone else needs to hold the baby for a minute. Everybody gets like that.

But I mean, if medicine helps you, then obviously its a definite thing that you should go for. But even WITH medicine I think that it should always be considered that maybe something needs to change for the better, made possible by your willingness to change yourself.
 

Xero

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Mar 20, 2008
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She's probably right about that, I imagine once you have the things to make life a little less complicated like a job to occupy your mind, a car to lessen the transportation frustrations, and an apartment or whatever of your own where you don't have to worry about what anyone else wants you to do, you'll probably feel a lot better. I lived with my mom until Eli was 5 or 6 months old. It was REALLY hard. I was depressed a lot, I will certainly admit. I didn't have much at that time either. I had graduated and I did have a driver's license but not a car or a place. Its really frustrating to live at home where people expect things out of you and you don't have the energy for it. There's way too much on your shoulders. I'm sure it will change with time.
 

Demona_Mommy91

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Mar 16, 2010
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I hope so. I mean, when I was living with just my dad it wasn't so bad cause I only had to worry about dealing with him and my fiance could live with me but now that I live with my grandparents is just so much harder and there are so many people. It sucks.
 

Xero

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Mar 20, 2008
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Your fiance can't live with you?? That really sucks, that's not easy to deal with. Its like being alone, but also being surrounded by a bunch of people you shouldn't have to be taking any crap from pushing your buttons at the same time. :( I hear you, DH didn't live with me while I was staying with my mom. That made things awful. And having two really strict, uptight parents and five younger siblings didn't help either. Is fiance helping to work on the finding a place thing? Or are you guys waiting until you finish your education so you have a good job?