Yes, I can relate - at 9, my 14-year old was going down the same path. I do think he needs some counselling as divorce anger can come out even years later and the behaviour you're describing is attention-getting and comes from the "I need help" syndrome. I know it may seem he's a bit evil and drumming his fingers together on the sidelines while laughing, (;o) but that is not the case. He still thinks with the mind of a child and most likely has no idea why he is acting this way. We all want our kids to be respectful, even just tolerable, but that is not always possible and perhaps this is the path he has to take. You have to let him (within reason, of course) own his behaviour and if it has a horrible effect on his future, that is the natural consequence.
Often, as I have so learned, we try and control their bad behaviour rather than seek to understand and heal the root cause of it. Counselling can have a profound effect on a 9-year old and now is certainly the time to do it as the teen years become much more difficult to accomplish this.
I have to question the teacher saying you take steps at home....I have encountered teachers that think if the child's behaviour is difficult at school, it must mean bad parenting at home.
Obviously I don't know all the ins and outs here, but without a doubt, children feel a great deal of anger, confusion, mis-identity, etc, over divorce and it often comes out in these years. Counselling!!!
(And BTW, your tone only sounds frustrated which I think we all are in this forum!)
Often, as I have so learned, we try and control their bad behaviour rather than seek to understand and heal the root cause of it. Counselling can have a profound effect on a 9-year old and now is certainly the time to do it as the teen years become much more difficult to accomplish this.
I have to question the teacher saying you take steps at home....I have encountered teachers that think if the child's behaviour is difficult at school, it must mean bad parenting at home.
Obviously I don't know all the ins and outs here, but without a doubt, children feel a great deal of anger, confusion, mis-identity, etc, over divorce and it often comes out in these years. Counselling!!!
(And BTW, your tone only sounds frustrated which I think we all are in this forum!)