So I've been thinking more and more lately about my dad. I want to write him a letter telling him how I feel but I'm afraid. I don't want to make him feel the way he made me feel, but at the same time I do. I'm afraid I'd just be setting myself up for more disappointment and hurt. All I want is an explanation, and apology and three words. Is that too much to ask for? Do you think it's too late to fix this?
letter to my dad...
- Thread starter Lissa
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I don't know if its too late, but I can understand where you comeing from in the hurt department (though I don't know what your dad did) I think sometimes we want to hear the "I'm sorries" but we just have to realize that they are not there. And Lissa, he can't make you feel anything. Only you can make yourself feel it
Isn't that just the craziest thing?? I had some issues regarding my father's attendance in my life.. broken promises and the such. As many times as he hurt my feelings, I felt the same way. I wanted to tell him how much he had hurt me but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Well, I eventually told him off... completely. I can't tell you what a weight was lifted from that.Lissa said:
some people are just unable or unwilling to say sorry...my MIL is that way. No matter what she does or says to you you will never get an apology from her.
If telling your dad what you want to tell him will make you feel better about things I say go for it. At least you will be able to move on without carrying a heavy burden with you.
If telling your dad what you want to tell him will make you feel better about things I say go for it. At least you will be able to move on without carrying a heavy burden with you.
... you will also find out if that 'sorry' is there or not and hopefully be able to move on from there regardless.
exactly. Maybe the sorry is there. Only he can answer that. I can tell you that from my personal story, the sorry was not there. I have learned to accept that and have moved on from that. And even if she said sorry at this point, I am not sure it would make a difference in how I view things. You have to do what is right for you not what is right for them. If you need to write that letter and explain to him what you want, then you need to do that. BUT you have to be prepared that you may not get what you want for m him. You might though, you just have to remember that either way it does not change you,
Perhaps write the letter just to get it out at first... then decide if you want to send it. Just writing it down may help a little.
Lissa, I know what you're hoping for, but you may be setting yourself up for a big disappointment. That being said, I still think you should write the letter.
However, I wouldn't send a first letter with a "one-two" punch in it. If you take this situation slowly and tactfully, I can almost guarantee you the result you want, and possible begin a whole new and better relationship with your Dad.
Start slow, it may take a few letters...be the bigger person here and simply open the lines of communication in your first letter, and feel out the response accordingly.
I did this with my Dad in my early 20's, and now we're best friends.
However, I wouldn't send a first letter with a "one-two" punch in it. If you take this situation slowly and tactfully, I can almost guarantee you the result you want, and possible begin a whole new and better relationship with your Dad.
Start slow, it may take a few letters...be the bigger person here and simply open the lines of communication in your first letter, and feel out the response accordingly.
I did this with my Dad in my early 20's, and now we're best friends.
Do you feel that he has changed at this point in his life or are you willing to have a relationship with the same behavior?Lissa said: