letter to my dad...
- Thread starter Lissa
- Start date
Lissa, I'm really impressed with your email to your dad. To me, it showed a lot of wisdom and restraint and the ability to truly forgive. I'm so happy your dad responded the way he did. Perhaps this will be the start of a better relationship between the two of you.
Yay!! I am very happy for you. I hope this helped in your healing process.Lissa said:There was a response in my inbox this morning:
<SIZE size="150">IN THIS WORLD WE DON'T SAY THIS ENOUGH TO EACH OTHER. </SIZE><I><SIZE size="200">I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!!!!! </SIZE></I>
I WROTE THIS RESPONSE BEFORE I READ MORE POSTS AND SAW THAT YOU HAD A HEALTHY INTERACTION WITH YOUR FATHER. I'M GLAD FOR YOU - BUT I AM GOING TO LEAVE MY POST ANYWAY, BECAUSE IT'S ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE FOR SOMEBODY WHO MIGHT BE CONSIDERING A SIMILAR THING
boy - be careful with this one. You could be setting yourself up for a lot more hurt if he doesn't respond as you want him to. My father adamantly denied that he ever did anything wrong. He was finally arrested for hitting my one of my brothers (happened to get a new cop who wasn't burnt out yet) and when I saw him for the first time a few years later, it was still "you had me arrested." No accountability that it was his own actions that got him there.
But as my brother told me last week, he remembers being about 16, and my dad was choking him and M couldn't get him off of him b/c he was too big and heavy and M really thought he was going to die (I never knew about this - I'd have freaking killed him had I known back then). Now M looks at him and despite the abuse and being kept from his mother, M sees this pathetic shell of a man, and he can't hate him because he's too pitiful.
I hope that you are able to come to the same kind of closure that my brother was.
boy - be careful with this one. You could be setting yourself up for a lot more hurt if he doesn't respond as you want him to. My father adamantly denied that he ever did anything wrong. He was finally arrested for hitting my one of my brothers (happened to get a new cop who wasn't burnt out yet) and when I saw him for the first time a few years later, it was still "you had me arrested." No accountability that it was his own actions that got him there.
But as my brother told me last week, he remembers being about 16, and my dad was choking him and M couldn't get him off of him b/c he was too big and heavy and M really thought he was going to die (I never knew about this - I'd have freaking killed him had I known back then). Now M looks at him and despite the abuse and being kept from his mother, M sees this pathetic shell of a man, and he can't hate him because he's too pitiful.
I hope that you are able to come to the same kind of closure that my brother was.
