Luca has started getting really sassy and mean recently. I think that this is what his dad has been talking about for awhile now, but it has never been directed at me, so I need some help trying to figure out how to handle it. His dad has a bad temper and I don't really know what goes on with them when I am not around, but I can only imagine. He has a short explosive temper and Luca has always had those tendencies as well. In the past, I have always just shut it down by not feeding into it. The problem seems to be that he gets very angry over something small and then it snowballs from there. In the past, sending him to his room (removing him from the rest of us and all stimuli) to regain composure has worked. Now he is refusing to go into his room or being destructive once he gets there. It has only happened a few times, but that is three times too much in my book.
Some other factors that need to be mentioned... I have split custody with his dad. The outbreaks tend to happen right before he is to go to dads house. Recently, dad started to not enforce any kind of punishment I put into place. Now he is 'superdad' and for the first time ever Luca says "You are nicer than mom" and he is loving it. I mean really loving it. To the point that he is almost rewarding Luca for being mean to me. I have to note I AM NOT GOING TO CHANGE HIS DAD. There is nothing I can say or do that will change his father, so we can just skip over any suggestions that have anything to do with him.
Where we are at now is that we (me, my husband, and Luca) are thinking about some consequences for this kind of sassy talk. We are all going to sit down and talk about some consequences, then I will pick a consequence, and moving forward, this will happen when he starts to talk sassy or mean. I'm guessing that whatever we decide on will probably have to change or adapt in someway in the future, but we need a starting point. I think that if Luca knows what will happen before the words come out of his mouth it will help him with impulse control. That's my hope anyhow! It's the whole snowball effect that seems to be the problem. He will just continue to get angrier and angrier and lose control.
One thing that I have already decided is Disney Chanel is out. The shows like iCarly, Suite Life, etc. seem to have a lot of this disrespectful talk in them and it's meant to be funny. It's just not funny in real life!
Some of the things that I've though of already are taking away electronics. Maybe one day for each mouth off? And one hour in his room for every mean thing he says. THANKS FOR ANY SUGGESTIONS!!!
Some other factors that need to be mentioned... I have split custody with his dad. The outbreaks tend to happen right before he is to go to dads house. Recently, dad started to not enforce any kind of punishment I put into place. Now he is 'superdad' and for the first time ever Luca says "You are nicer than mom" and he is loving it. I mean really loving it. To the point that he is almost rewarding Luca for being mean to me. I have to note I AM NOT GOING TO CHANGE HIS DAD. There is nothing I can say or do that will change his father, so we can just skip over any suggestions that have anything to do with him.
Where we are at now is that we (me, my husband, and Luca) are thinking about some consequences for this kind of sassy talk. We are all going to sit down and talk about some consequences, then I will pick a consequence, and moving forward, this will happen when he starts to talk sassy or mean. I'm guessing that whatever we decide on will probably have to change or adapt in someway in the future, but we need a starting point. I think that if Luca knows what will happen before the words come out of his mouth it will help him with impulse control. That's my hope anyhow! It's the whole snowball effect that seems to be the problem. He will just continue to get angrier and angrier and lose control.
One thing that I have already decided is Disney Chanel is out. The shows like iCarly, Suite Life, etc. seem to have a lot of this disrespectful talk in them and it's meant to be funny. It's just not funny in real life!
Some of the things that I've though of already are taking away electronics. Maybe one day for each mouth off? And one hour in his room for every mean thing he says. THANKS FOR ANY SUGGESTIONS!!!