MySpace and Teens...

[Catheaven]

My oldest daughter is almost 13. She's has a myspace acct. We monitor it on surprise occassion. Myspace actually does go through the accounts and will delete accounts for those that "appear" under the age 14 rule. My daughter and her friends have had their sites taken down b/c the admins can tell they are younger. So it's nice to know that myspace does get monitored to an extent.
She uses her myspace acct mainly to keep in touch with friends that have moved out of the area. I don't mind her using it and we've had the constand talks about those type of people and she's not suppose to share any info etc. She's good and she listens.
Luckily i don't have to worry about my 5 yr old. She's only on the computer every once in awhile playing on nick.com or disney.

 

[NinJaBob]

My 14 year old niece was monitored closely at home and she still found a way to get on MySpace. My 23 year old niece found her page on MySpace. It said that niece 1 was 19 and looking for real men to communicate with. Apparently she did it at school or at a friends house. Not clear as to which. Needless to say she got busted. Not only is it important to keep young children off Myspace but also to teach them the dangers of posting ther info online as the above example could have ended in disaster.

 

[brianwelmont]

I think 14 is an appropriate age.

I found a good Parent and Child Internet Agreement for download if anyone is interested.

 

[elacacciola]

The problem with myspace is that there are no safety measures in place for kids. Even if you set their profile to private, anyone can message them. The statistics on predators on myspace are alarming. The things myspace provides for them to be "safe" is not really doing much to protect them. Plus they can just delete everything when you arent sitting over their shoulder and you would be none the wiser.

 

[scattered]

Hi. I got something to say about myspace.

My daughter set up a myspace acct for me, her dad, and herself when she was 12. She didn't ask for permission. I wasn't too concerned since she included us. A stroke of genius on her part (and complete stupidity on mine).

I am very bothered by the way she uses myspace. She has no mystery to her. Every action gets posted -- where's she's going, who's she's with, who broke her heart today, how bored she is, how angry she is with me, how funny she thinks the use of middle fingers and provocative tongue poses are in photographs. Loves using the term "bia*ch". And it is a most perfect forum for drama. We have recently started family therapy, and I have been addressing these types of posts.

When her first boyfriend broke up with her (on the day of her first kiss), he seemed to manage to find at least four replacements for her in the following couple of weeks. Each girl he approached felt compelled to tell my daughter (via myspace) all about it (including what a bad kisser this boy claimed my daughter was). This wasn't even any heavy making out (I believe my daughter on that one for some reason). There has also been people who get annoyed by my daughter and will post mean things for everyone to read. She is really into her myspace, but it just seems like it brings more pain than joy.

Her dad isn't bothered with her account. In fact he feels somewhat protective of her use of it (although he himself doesn't monitor her activity or communicate with her on myspace). I wish my daughter would use her account more judiciously. She has 70+ "friends" on the account, but only about three of these people are actually real friends. The other kids are people that go to my daughter's school, but aren't particularly interested in her. If I was one of these "friends", I would definitely think my daughter looked desperate and wannabe-ish.

Her closest friends are not allowed to myspace accounts. One of the parents found out that my daughter was a big help in setting their daughter up with an account (I am also to blame there as I was fully aware of what was going on & did nothing about it). They were not too happy to say the least. After that came to light, I began to explore my daughter's activity & was very freaked out by it. My daugher had to kick off any friends she knew weren't supposed to have myspace accounts, since they had all built their accounts sneakily.

My daughter is in girl scouts. Most of the scouts mom's are very involved parents. I know that most of the girls are good students. Most of the girls aren't allowed to have computers in their rooms, and definitely no myspace. I wish I had adopted this policy. I didn't think to do that.

Now I might have to back-pedal my daughter's e-freedoms. But how to do it is the hard part for me. I know the simple thing is to just take away her account or her computer. But what is to prevent from going over to someone's house and using her account there? I'm sick of her being hurt, her taking it out on me, and her poor performance in school.

 

[Dadu2004]

This is a very old thread, please keep to threads that are 30 days old or less. If you'd like to start a new thread, feel free.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

maybe thread is old, but is it necessary to start a new thread with exactly the same title?

scattered, it maybe a disturbing reality, but kids will always be more technology-litterate than their parents (unless parents work for microsoft). forbid them myspace, they'll have secret accounts, or they'll move to facebook or other similar sites. there are hundreds of them.
rather limit internet usage by time, or ask to remove inapropriate photos, and more focus on her schoolwork than myspace.

 

[Fatherof3]

People whining and crying about their poor teen and myspace. My sister is 18 now. But she had a myspace when she was 14. She has had her own computer since 13. My parents never watched us like hawks. I mean having your teens password too? Invasion of privacy anyone? Do you hold her hand too when she crosses the street? Do you search her room for condoms? Do you monitor every phone call she makes and wont allow boys to call? Do you not allow her to have guy (boy) friends? If my parents were like that I would have freaked. It only pissses a teen off more, and makes them do things behind your back since they are scared to let you know anything. There is a huge difference between protecting your child, and invasion of privacy. I seen some parents read every message on their teens account. Sometimes teens talk to each other about private stuff about boyfriends and such, it is a shame parents have to dig into that crap. It would be different if all the guys your teen added to her friends were like 30 and 40 and pedos. But most teens have their myspace on private and only accept people they know. 9 out of 10 teen girls use it to talk to boys from their school or their friends from school. So now you're going to ground your daughter because you got into her account and invaded her privacy and you found out she made out with a boy at school or was alone with a boy? Come on! There is a difference between a 30 year old guy preying on a 15 year old girl, and a 15 year old boy who happens to like your 15 year old. My sister was responsible with myspace. She had her profile on private, only added people she knew, and used it to talk to her friends or boyfriend. She is now 18, in college, still with her boyfriend from high school, and she's doing good. The more over protective you become, the more your daughter will do it behind your back. Do you want to trust your teen, or push them away?

 

[TabascoNatalie]

very right so. As i was a teen, there was no MySpace. there was IRC. an my parents had no clue what that is. just they knew it's a chatroom. but i was chatting about sex, and with much older men. i believe who have us little kids now, there will be plenty of ther inventions than myspace. so i guess it matters how much values and self respect we teach them, not how much we control them.

 

[Cop2be]

very right so. As i was a teen, there was no MySpace. there was IRC. an my parents had no clue what that is. just they knew it's a chatroom. but i was chatting about sex, and with much older men. i believe who have us little kids now, there will be plenty of ther inventions than myspace. so i guess it matters how much values and self respect we teach them, not how much we control them.

OMGZZZ You're an IRC'er too?!?!

/server -m peer.commons.net 6667 or +6697 for SSL FTW you should join....its still up.


As for myspace, I made one at 15, didn't ask my mom, didn't think it was something I had to ask if I could sign up for, she didn't really mind. At first she wanted my login info and she only had it for a little bit because I made a new one when we moved and she never got that info. Her rule now, even though I am 19 turning 20 is that she has to be my friend on my sites MySpace/Facebook in order for me to have one under her roof.
My brother however has had one since 13 maybe 14. My mom has his login info and says that she'll have it as long as he lives under her roof. -.- I sure hope not.


When I have kids and they are teens/in middle school and myspace/facebook are still the "in" thing, i'll let them have one. I'll probably periodically, not very often, look though their pictures and such, never messages. But if they want one at like 12 or 13, I am fine with that.

 

[fallon]

sorry guys, feel free to start a new thread but I'm closing this one as it's very very old