Single dad problem-please help!...

[Mindy]

oops wrong thread

 

[FooserX]

Since this is the randomness thread, can someone tell me how to get my own avatar? I try unloading my own pic, but it doesn't appear, it said the file didn't upload, and yet I can see the pic in my profile, but nowhere else. Can anyone else see a pic in my profile?

Uh...this is the single dad thread, not the randomness thread.

And you can only upload your own avatar once you have so many posts.

You're still too new, Mindy.

 

[Mindy]

LOL, yeah I edited, and re-posted in the right place, sorry about that. Thank you.

 

[musicmom]

"Telling it like it is became nasty? Give me a break. You've been here what? A week, how the heck would you know anything? Or are you judging on this one post? Don't post dumb s*** and expect a "you're such a good mom" response when YOU are in the wrong."

Telling it like it is, is different than just plain old nastiness. You can tell it like it is and still have respect for the OP.

Yeah, probably less than a week actually that I have been here. But I read a lot, got a feel for the posters. I noticed that although everyone tells it like it is, they do it without making the poster feel stupid or less than them. They joke a lot but in all seriousness they don't question the person's character the way you do. They just give straight opinions. I just glaze over when someone starts to assume someone is a bad person from a few posts on a message board. Have a little compassion.

No one can make you feel stupid......if you feel that way you're making yourself feel stupid.
I'm definitly not the one for cookie cutter responses especially if the poster is serious and asking for a real answer. If they don't want an opinion then they shouldn't post and ask. I am who I am. Like I said, skip past my posts.:jimlad:

 

[Mindy]

Whatever musicmom

 

[SuperMario]

I absolutely agree with Kim on this one.

Since when do 4 year olds get to decide anything? They're 4! If it were up to them, we'd be watching cartoons and eating McDonald's every night of the week.

Kids have no idea what is best for them, or the family because they are completely selfish. I don't mean that in a bad way, but at that age, everything revolves around their immediate needs.

You're way off on this one SuperMario.

No I am not. When the kid obviously doesn't like someone you DO NOT force them to go see them. This isn't about being selfish this is about the girl not wanting to go see the dad. Maybe he should get his lazy ass up and go see her.

 

[FooserX]

My son doesn't want to go to school some days, but he still goes. There are also times when he doesn't want to eat dinner because we're not having pizza...but he still needs to eat.

I get what you're saying - but this is a father/daughter relationship here. Yes, someone should move...or be more involved...but do you really think the alternative (which is what you are proposing) is a good solution?

Do you really think NO relationship with her dad is positive?

 

[Amber]

I really don't think no relationship of any kind is good for the girl. If it were me, I'd rather grow up thinking my dad lived miles away and I could only see him every so often, than think he let me do as I please and just didn't see me at all.

 

[SuperMario]

Don't force her to have a relationship if she doesn't want to. And if the dad really wants one then he should make the effort to go see the dad. I don't think it really matters at all.

 

[Amber]

Yeah, and from now on my kids don't have to attend school. They no longer have to eat nutritious foods. They no longer have to take a bath. And they no longer have to mind what I say.


Because they don't want to.

 

[SuperMario]

The crap your bringing up is not relative. Maybe she doesn't want TWO dads. Let her stick with the one she likes. This isn't about school or food it is about someone she likes. She should LIKE seeing her dad. Not getting frustrated. You people are being stupid.

 

[Amber]

It is relative. Having two dads could potentially be beneficial to her in the long run. Just the same as school is beneficial in the long run because you get an education and a well paying job. Healthy food is beneficial because you maintain a normal, healthy weight, thus fighting obesity. And so on and so forth.

 

[FooserX]

The crap your bringing up is not relative. Maybe she doesn't want TWO dads. Let her stick with the one she likes. This isn't about school or food it is about someone she likes. She should LIKE seeing her dad. Not getting frustrated. You people are being stupid.

Dude!

You're not even a parent!!

lol

If you were in this dad's place...and your daughter didn't want to see you anymore, because she didn't like the hassle...would you just say "Okay princess! I'll never see you again!"

???

 

[Mindy]

She is 4 YEARS OLD.

Maybe it's not her dad she doesn't like seeing. It's probably the adult drama involved in her going to see him that makes her uncomfortable.

If I had told someone when I was 4 I didn't want to see my dad anymore, and then never saw him again, I'd be so pissed when I got older that someone actually took my 4 year old tantrum seriously enough to cut off my relationship with my dad.

"Mummy, I don't like you, I never want to see you again!" "Ok huney, whatever you want, you're old enough to decide!"

 

[Amber]

If I had told someone when I was 4 I didn't want to see my dad anymore, and then never saw him again, I'd be so pissed when I got older that someone actually took my 4 year old tantrum seriously enough to cut off my relationship with my dad.

*Claps*

 

[SuperMario]

Whatever guys i really don't care. Hell if the dad really cared he'd go get his "princess" not ship her around like some package. I still have yet to see a retort for that. I can understand your other retorts to listening to her but we are not in the situation. And you guys are putting your actual selves in the situation not if you were a kid.

 

[Mindy]

I think my post was CLEARLY putting myself in the child's shoes.

And I do agree with you that the dad needs to be more proactive. Needs to show he's willing to do whatever it takes for a relationship with her.

But it's naive and IMO dangerous to just assume she doesn't want a relationship with her dad because her 4 year old self says it in a moment of upset/passion.

 

[FooserX]

Have you even read the entire thread??

The Biological dad and stepmom of the daughter are in State A.

The Biological mom and stepdad of the daughter are in State B.

If the parents from State A MOVE to be with the daughter...then the other kids lose their biological dad as well.

It's a messed up situation for sure...but you're putting the daughter of this scenario over the other kids welfare too.

 

[SuperMario]

God don't do this to her. They live TOO far away. Just let the kids be. As a dad I would NEVER want to do that to my daughter. She is happy over there and gets upset when she comes here. Stop making her travel across states. Unless you plan on doing it yourself. BUT OH WAIT! You have kids too! They are different families now. When she gets older she could maybe go visit her dad if she wishes! Should we forced adopted kids to go see their biological parents? No the parents made this situation and the daughter doesn't like it. Leave her be.

 

[Amber]

Should we forced adopted kids to go see their biological parents? No the parents made this situation and the daughter doesn't like it. Leave her be.

That's entirely different. The adopted child's parents gave him/her up willingly. This situation, the mother moved the child. The father didn't move, am I right? So, that's not giving her up.

Deciding which outfit to wear for the day is an appropriate choice for a 4 year old....not whether to see mommy or daddy.