Spanking vs. Smacking...
- Thread starter Lissa
- Start date
Hand smacking - for me it just felt wrong - trying to teach my child not to hit by hitting him. Didn't work for me- felt hypocritical.
However, in this last round of hitting (this is our third time extinguishing hitting and he's 2 1/2) I was at my wits end and tried it. And it worked!! For a single DAY. And then he'd just hit me back. My heart sunk - I didnt' know what to do - do I smack his hand harder?
And thats when I realized that my instincts about hitting are right for my child. I cant' hit him, because I'm teaching him hitting is wrong.
I know that each child is an individual. so YMMV.
However, in this last round of hitting (this is our third time extinguishing hitting and he's 2 1/2) I was at my wits end and tried it. And it worked!! For a single DAY. And then he'd just hit me back. My heart sunk - I didnt' know what to do - do I smack his hand harder?
And thats when I realized that my instincts about hitting are right for my child. I cant' hit him, because I'm teaching him hitting is wrong.
I know that each child is an individual. so YMMV.
No there is no difference, because it is sending the same message. Which is hitting is ok. Many studies have shown children dont learn from physical punishment. They only learn to fear from it. Obviously the argument would be "if i am only spanking my child, hand, bottom whatever ..it is not really hurting them so it's ok) Which is wrong, you are setting your child up to learn horrible habbits and lessons.
my daughter wandered into the garden bed at my mother in law's house the other day. she almost trod on the roses. The truth is she simply didn't realise that there was such a thing there - it's a pretty drought-stricken excuse for a garden bed... when the lawn - bare - looks like the garden bed - bare - who's to say where you're allowed and not allowed to go.Originally Posted by musicmom[/URL]
<I>Isn't he two? Tapping his hand is fine. It's better then him going and putting something in a light socket or pulling something he's not supposed to. She has to do whatever to make sure he's safe. She is his guidance and there is nothing wrong with tapping his hand. That's what mothers do.
If she were a chicken she would peck him, or a dog would pounce on their pups. No mother in the world allows her child to get hurt.</I>
symphonyodd: I can agree most with this.
but truth be told, the idea that she might have harmed the garden was less urgent than that the garden might have hurt her.
my mother in law helped her out of the garden bed and then drew her attention to the rose bush "Do you see this spike here? That would have spiked you if you'd gone any closer." My daughter took one look at that and took off in the other direction: she's not interested in what she calls 'spikies' of any kind.
In what way would smacking her hand have helped her to understand the dangers of the spiky rose bush any more than simply pointing out the danger to her? I've got a further question for the advanced student: in what ways would smacking her hand have CONFUSED the issue for her?
