Spanking vs. Smacking...

[fallon]

they will still try to pull the cover off...both my kids did

 

[FooserX]

I have covers on them. But he tries to pull them off. And what about when we go to other people's houses where they don't have covers?

What if he eats something bad off the floor and gets sick? What if he falls down the stairs? What if he gets tangled in an electrical cord? What if what if what if!

 

[Lissa]

What if he eats something bad off the floor and gets sick? What if he falls down the stairs? What if he gets tangled in an electrical cord? What if what if what if![/quote]

Um, eating garbage off the floor and getting sick is a lot different than putting fingers in electrical sockets.

 

[FooserX]

Um, eating garbage off the floor and getting sick is a lot different than putting fingers in electrical sockets.

What if he ate something poisonous and died.

 

[Lissa]

What if he ate something poisonous and died.

You are missing my point.

 

[fallon]

What if he ate something poisonous and died.

what kind of parent leaves poisonous garbage on the floor????

 

[FooserX]

You are missing my point.

No, I totally get your point. You're being a Yulia.
[/COLOR]
You think it is okay to hit/tap your son, and are disagreeing with every thing anyone else says about it...and giving crazy scenarios to justify your thoughts.[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]
This is like when he kept playing with the DVD player, and instead of just moving it...you wanted to be difficult and try to teach him at 1 years old. Lol. [/COLOR]

 

[Lissa]

You think it is okay to hit/tap your son, and are disagreeing with every thing anyone else says about it...and giving crazy scenarios to justify your thoughts.[/COLOR]

This is like when he kept playing with the DVD player, and instead of just moving it...you wanted to be difficult and try to teach him at 1 years old. Lol. [/COLOR][/quote]

Huh? I'm not disagreeing with anyone. I'm asking for opinions. Crazy scenarios? How is electrical shock a crazy scenario?

I moved the DVD player. You can't really move an electrical outlet.

 

[FooserX]

<r><QUOTE author="Lissa;34963"><s>

</s>Huh? I'm not disagreeing with anyone. I'm asking for opinions. Crazy scenarios? How is electrical shock a crazy scenario? <br/>
<br/>
I moved the DVD player. You can't really move an electrical outlet.<e>

</e></QUOTE>
<br/>
<br/>
<FONT font="Arial"><s></s>You’re an adult (technically)…You can’t find a way from keeping your 1 year old from playing with an outlet? Even when you go places?<e></e></FONT></r>

 

[Lissa]

You yourself know that we can't watch them every second and things happen very fast.

 

[HappyMomma]

As a child, I was spanked on occasion. I tried it once with my daughter... the result was 1) it wasn't effective and just made her mad and 2) It just felt very wrong.

My husband and I have made the personal choice not to use spankings as a discipline.

 

[Teresa]

But what if the child is going for an electrical socket or something very dangerous? A 1 1/2 year old can't understand that it's dangerous and redirection doesn't always work.

Maybe not the first time, but if you are consistent and tell them NO, and remove them from the area EVERY time, it does eventually work.

 

[FooserX]

You yourself know that we can't watch them every second and things happen very fast.

How about you slap Oliver's hand the next time he does something you don't want him to...

And if he doesn't do it again, then your hit method worked and you can come back on PF and tell everyone how awesome it is.

 

[Lissa]

I'm not going to slap his hand. I want to know alternatives Foos. So shut up already.

Thanks Teresa.

 

[Teresa]

You're welcome, Lissa.

 

[evilbrent]

But what if the child is going for an electrical socket or something very dangerous? A 1 1/2 year old can't understand that it's dangerous and redirection doesn't always work.

well?? in what way does smacking them help them understand an external danger that not-smacking them doesn't??

this is the future people - baby-proof your houses!! Spend $3 on a dozen of those little plugs that cover the socket.

 

[evilbrent]

I have covers on them. But he tries to pull them off.

well then try to put them on tighter.

And what about when we go to other people's houses where they don't have covers?

watch him.

don't let a 1 yr old wonder aimlessly about a strange, un-baby-proofed house.

 

[FooserX]

well?? in what way does smacking them help them understand an external danger that not-smacking them doesn't??

this is the future people - baby-proof your houses!! Spend $3 on a dozen of those little plugs that cover the socket.

No kidding!

I'm sure they sell good ones too...not ones a 1 year old can pull out. hah. Maybe Lissa's just going cheap and getting the crappy outlet covers from the $1 store.

 

[evilbrent]

I have and do smack my child's hand on. In this situation though I wouldn't have. I would redirect. I just do not think redirecting their attention works in most cases. This one yes. Touching a dvd player, stereo, saying "no" and saying "oh look you could break the dvd player", it doesn't work.

oh nooooooooooooooooooo!!!
:arghh: if only there was some way - SOME WAY!!! *shakes fist at the sky* - to move the DVD player or put a cardboard screen in front of it!!! Curse you DVD player.........

 

[evilbrent]

Originally Posted by Lissa

[/URL]
<I>But what if the child is going for an electrical socket or something very dangerous? A 1 1/2 year old can't understand that it's dangerous and redirection doesn't always work.</I>

I think this is really the most important point. I get that you don't just mean sockets and rubbish. You mean: sockets, and rubbish, and dropped hair clips, and corners, and steps, and hot things, and heavy things, and water deeper than 6", and sharp things, and stoves, and garages, and garden tools and driveways.... and all the random dangers in life that we don't think twice about because we have a sense of self preservation as adults.

Well guess what? I guarantee you that life will present one more danger to your child than you have time to give taps on the hand for. In that moment, would you prefer that your child's locus of control to be driven by an internal understanding of their own responsibility to look after themselves or by trusting that 'anything mum hasn't smacked me for must be safe'.

----

As an aside - kinda - I have just come back after spending the weekend at an engagement party 3 hours drive out in the bush. I consider myself a pretty relaxed kind of parent, but I was really struck by the relaxedness of the parents. There were kids all over the place, just stumbling about in bare feet, jumping on the trampoline (one of those old bone-breaker ones without the net) and occasionally coming back for more soft-drink and sun-screen (it was 39 degrees).

But what struck me even MORE was the sheer capability of these country kids! A 5 year old able to basically jump her own height on the trampoline. Kids clambering up and down the trampoline without whining for mum to come help. Kids just amusing themselves wandering about the property without parents chasing them around the corner just because they went out of sight.

It was amazing. No-one got hurt. No-one got smacked. No-one got yelled at. Trust was extended to the kids (dangers pointed out where absolutely neceessary) and they proved that they deserved it - not the other way around.