What age do you stop spanking?...
- Thread starter NinJaBob
- Start date
My wife and I use spanking on occasion for our 4 year old. I believe that it works for her. But i couldnt imagine spanking anyone over the age of say 7... there are much more effective punishments.
I'm not much for spanking, I've swatted a bottom once or twice on about 3 or 4 occasions, and I simply don't think it's usually very effective and it teaches kids that hitting is an okay way to resolve things/get what you want.
So, that's where I'm coming from.
In that light, i think 17 is way too old. Some more information on whether this is a bare bottom spank, how frequently it occurs would help me decide if I thought this was really for discipline/behavior modification or some more sinister/innapropriate reason. The other thing that makes me wonder is how you know this? Does he do it in your presence? Has he or she told you about it? It seems that if he's bragging about it in some way, that's a sure sign it's wrong and he's using it for his own powr trip or jollies....
So, that's where I'm coming from.
In that light, i think 17 is way too old. Some more information on whether this is a bare bottom spank, how frequently it occurs would help me decide if I thought this was really for discipline/behavior modification or some more sinister/innapropriate reason. The other thing that makes me wonder is how you know this? Does he do it in your presence? Has he or she told you about it? It seems that if he's bragging about it in some way, that's a sure sign it's wrong and he's using it for his own powr trip or jollies....
spanking at 17 just ridiculous....thats an age where physical disipline is not in need anymore...theyre almost adults c'mmon im pretty sure if u cant solve whatever it may be by some other means then spanking i dont even know.....lol anyways id probably say 10.....its hard saying a specific age but i think thats the limit....
Hey superman, when I was doing some research a couple of years ago on corporal punishment, I found out that there are age restrictions on it in Canada.... from ages 2-12. Did you know that? Kind of curious if Canadians are aware of it or not.
Some countries have banned it all together. Others, like the US, say you can do it at home, but certain states have it banned in the schools. I kind of think it is just a matter of time before it is banned all together in the US. Just like wife beating was eventually explicitly made illegal.
Some countries have banned it all together. Others, like the US, say you can do it at home, but certain states have it banned in the schools. I kind of think it is just a matter of time before it is banned all together in the US. Just like wife beating was eventually explicitly made illegal.
Spanking is not good no matter the age.
Spanking should be outlawed.
When I was a child I was often beaten by my father.
I can't have a pleasant memory about it.
Spanking should be outlawed.
When I was a child I was often beaten by my father.
I can't have a pleasant memory about it.
I was kinda staying out of this but feel the need to say something. This is only my opinion and what I do.
I have maybe spanked DS two or three time's ever. I would only spank if I felt the situation warranted this type of attention. I don't consider a spanking, a beating. One being done out of love and concern, the other being a form of domination.
I think of a spank situation as a way of highlightiing a behavour that will seperate or highlight it from the numorous time outs' privilage restrictions ect. A way of leaving a memory that this behavour is never acceptable and will have the maximum penatly. I spank only if the behavour is likely to cause harm to others or themself's. Or if the behavour has the potential to have legal concquences. I do not spank to harm, or as a means to resolve a dispute. I believe the drama associated with the act of spanking is sufficient in highlighting the behavior and it is unnecessary to make it anything more than that. I also believe that knowing I have a spanking option is a deterrent for many situations "Cold war parenting". I know this will probably raise some ire here but I also believe there are a few kids I know in DS/DD school who might benefit from a good spank.
Whew, That said to address the OP.
I think the age really depends on the kid themselves. Normally I would say flat out that 17 is to old. And I think M2M is correct that you quickly get to the point with spanking (not beating) where the kid say's whatever, its not going to be hard enough to hurt anyway which reduces the impact of the act enough that it is not effective. Normally.
But I did see how the Texas high school was doing this a year or two ago and it seemed ok to me. The parents had to sign a form saying it was ok to use the paddle as a form of punishment. The kid then could choose the option of the paddle in leu of other forms of punishment. EG a weeks detention or six swats. Weekend school or three swats. That's the only time something like that would seem appropriate.
I think parents who use spanking not as a way to dominate but rather to modify behavior would know their own children enough to know when it would cease to be effective.
Thats my two cents
I have maybe spanked DS two or three time's ever. I would only spank if I felt the situation warranted this type of attention. I don't consider a spanking, a beating. One being done out of love and concern, the other being a form of domination.
I think of a spank situation as a way of highlightiing a behavour that will seperate or highlight it from the numorous time outs' privilage restrictions ect. A way of leaving a memory that this behavour is never acceptable and will have the maximum penatly. I spank only if the behavour is likely to cause harm to others or themself's. Or if the behavour has the potential to have legal concquences. I do not spank to harm, or as a means to resolve a dispute. I believe the drama associated with the act of spanking is sufficient in highlighting the behavior and it is unnecessary to make it anything more than that. I also believe that knowing I have a spanking option is a deterrent for many situations "Cold war parenting". I know this will probably raise some ire here but I also believe there are a few kids I know in DS/DD school who might benefit from a good spank.
Whew, That said to address the OP.
I think the age really depends on the kid themselves. Normally I would say flat out that 17 is to old. And I think M2M is correct that you quickly get to the point with spanking (not beating) where the kid say's whatever, its not going to be hard enough to hurt anyway which reduces the impact of the act enough that it is not effective. Normally.
But I did see how the Texas high school was doing this a year or two ago and it seemed ok to me. The parents had to sign a form saying it was ok to use the paddle as a form of punishment. The kid then could choose the option of the paddle in leu of other forms of punishment. EG a weeks detention or six swats. Weekend school or three swats. That's the only time something like that would seem appropriate.
I think parents who use spanking not as a way to dominate but rather to modify behavior would know their own children enough to know when it would cease to be effective.
Thats my two cents
when to stop? never start 
as for an adult male spanking an adolescent female, no matter what reasoning is behind that, it is almost sexual abuse. intended or not, it is sexual.
as for an adult male spanking an adolescent female, no matter what reasoning is behind that, it is almost sexual abuse. intended or not, it is sexual.
I tend to disagree with that. See, there will always be one teacher who abuses the power to spank, and then, because its legal, you cannot do anything about it. Its the same as the situation that started this thread. We all know its bad, but because its legal no one can do anything, and that sucks.superman said:
I'd say if spanking has to be legal, there should be strict guidelines on where, by whom, with what, how much, how frequently, for which offences, etc. Actually, to legislate it to the point where it would force teachers to be fair would be a complete nightmare, which is why I say just keep it banned, and use other forms of punishment.
No one should be spanking a 17 year old girl. I honestly think a man who spanks a 17 yr old girl is getting some type of sexual thrill out of it, I don't care if it's her father, uncle, priest,grandfather, or teacher.
I only hope it's not on her 'bare' behind. Because IMO, than you do need to call the police.
I only hope it's not on her 'bare' behind. Because IMO, than you do need to call the police.
I have to agree with most people here on this one. I think even those that don't spank still do, so saying I don't believe in spanking is just for social status. You still spat a child on the leg occassionally lol. As for spanking a 17 yr old, thats rediculous. If you havent taught a child how to act and listen by the age of 10 or 12 then you havent done something right and all you can do now is pray. Once a girl hits puberty, it should be the end of spanking. It's time for them to grow up!
Well I don't think spanking will do any good for any child. It will just make them, worse physically and mentally. And spanking beyond 10 well nobody needs to do that buy the time they get to that age they are to big and for both boys and girls puberty has started which means there age mentality are older than what it seems. And spanking isn't no more. if that makes since...
WOW! That is way too old IMHO. That would of made me extremely uncomfortable if my dad spanked me at 17.
At age 17 a person is almost a legal adult. So, why should they be getting spanked? If it's discipline they need, do something a bit more effective, like take the car away or unplug the internet. It doesn't seem that spanking would have any sort of positives at that age.
Um, no we don't. I know I haven't been a part of this conversation. But I have and never will hit my children, not even a "spat on the leg". And to assume that everyone does it just doesn't seem...right. (probably not the right word, but I can't think of another one)
And yes, if you do spank your children...17 is WAY to old.
Wrong. I have never raised my hand at my daughter in any way, and I never will, in the same way that I never once hit my wife in 20 years. And I don't appreciate you accusing me of lying for social statusDishOutlaw said:
Nope, I don't hit either, and I'm not just saying so. For the life of me, I just cannot think of a single reason for hitting a child. It simply does not agree with my soul.
Sheesh! I smacked my 100lb dog on the top of his head when he nearly dragged the two of us in front of a speeding car and I STILL feel guilty about it.
Sheesh! I smacked my 100lb dog on the top of his head when he nearly dragged the two of us in front of a speeding car and I STILL feel guilty about it.