Worst Parenting Advice Ever Heard...
- Thread starter Dadu2004
- Start date
You probably think I'm baiting, but I actually believe these things...
1. Punishing young children
2. Putting young children in time-out
3. Letting babies/children "cry it out"
4. Making children do things "because they have to learn"
5. Putting young children in daycare
6. Saying "good boy/girl" and "naughty boy/girl"
7. Using intimidation (bullying)
8. Using rewards (bribery)
9. Using threats
10. Toilet training at a particular age
11. Forcing young children to share/use manners
12. Using DVD baby-sitter
The above is based on 100% recognised child-psychology. The secret is what you can do instead of all of the above...
Matt
* young = less than 6 or 7 years old
1. Punishing young children
2. Putting young children in time-out
3. Letting babies/children "cry it out"
4. Making children do things "because they have to learn"
5. Putting young children in daycare
6. Saying "good boy/girl" and "naughty boy/girl"
7. Using intimidation (bullying)
8. Using rewards (bribery)
9. Using threats
10. Toilet training at a particular age
11. Forcing young children to share/use manners
12. Using DVD baby-sitter
The above is based on 100% recognised child-psychology. The secret is what you can do instead of all of the above...
Matt
* young = less than 6 or 7 years old
Oh, I mean I agree with them being on the Worst Parenting Advice List. Doh! So easy to write the wrong thing...
I agree with most of them being bad except for teaching young children to share (I just always get annoyed when kids don't share, and when they leave other kids out) and time out for young children. We never did the 5 minute time out thing though for young children, we used one minute for each year (3 years old, 3 minutes)
worst parenting advice i've ever heard..hm.
1. Let baby play with ice cubes
2. smack babies mouth when they are crying (That's just going to make them cry more)
3. When Megan was pregnant with Marc someone told her not to use a seatbelt because it could hurt the baby
4. Let babies chew on chicken bones while they are teething (welcome to the south)
5. Letting young high schoolers drink (I'm talking to the point where they are puking their guts out) so they can "practice" for college
worst parenting advice i've ever heard..hm.
1. Let baby play with ice cubes
2. smack babies mouth when they are crying (That's just going to make them cry more)
3. When Megan was pregnant with Marc someone told her not to use a seatbelt because it could hurt the baby
4. Let babies chew on chicken bones while they are teething (welcome to the south)
5. Letting young high schoolers drink (I'm talking to the point where they are puking their guts out) so they can "practice" for college
ya know they have posters and everything about that, man that's scary.Father_0f_7 said:
so, you're saying leaf tobacco would be a better choice? ;-)Father_0f_7 said:
Yeah, I always loved the parents who hosted parties on the lame theory that at least their kids were home and not driving drunk...Father_0f_7 said:
@Father_0f_7
I agree that it is annoying watching kids who don't share. But have you noticed which ones don't share? It is all of them! The don't share because they don't get it. They don't have the capacity to understand the other child's point of view/wishes. Ever wondered why parents are often exasperated by their children not sharing?
You can teach them by rote learning in the same way that you can teach a dog to do tricks. I prefer to model the behaviour (which my child copies) and then watch her develop empathy and manners at an appropriate time (age 6).
Matt
I agree that it is annoying watching kids who don't share. But have you noticed which ones don't share? It is all of them! The don't share because they don't get it. They don't have the capacity to understand the other child's point of view/wishes. Ever wondered why parents are often exasperated by their children not sharing?
You can teach them by rote learning in the same way that you can teach a dog to do tricks. I prefer to model the behaviour (which my child copies) and then watch her develop empathy and manners at an appropriate time (age 6).
Matt
Actually mine did, it was a repetative thing. From the time they were playing with toys (and they could even remotely understand what we were saying) we would tell them they need to share, then tell them exactly what sharing is and why it's important.
I believe (because it's how it's always worked for us/our children) that if you do it ALL THE TIME and make it an important thing they will listen eventually. That's one way they learn. If they didn't share, they didn't play. And they knew exactly why. Just my opinion.
And we did/do that too. It's not just one method that works, so you stick with it. It's a little bit of each method that works the best. Again, it's the way it's always worked for us, and again, just my opinion.
So if daycare is on your "worst things a parent can do" list, do you have any suggestions for alternatives?Snapperfish said:
Multi quote won't work.
1. Punishing young children
I assume you mean younger than say 3ish. And physical punishment. If my 3 yo is hitting me with a toy I will take it away and consider it punishment and tell him its not ok to hit. Others may consider it distraction.
2. Putting young children in time-out
Again under 3ish?
3. Letting babies/children "cry it out"
I agree to an extent. Some times they do just need to cry if all other needs have been met. Although most of the time I would still be holding them while they cried it out.
4. Making children do things "because they have to learn"
What kind of things? My son wants money, so we made a list of chores together because he has to learn they money isn't free. He is expected to complete half the list each week to earn his money.
5. Putting young children in daycare
I agree, what do you do if you have no other options?
6. Saying "good boy/girl" and "naughty boy/girl"
I agree, I chastise myself for this, I feel like I'm talking to a dog.
7. Using intimidation (bullying)
I agree but I do it sometimes, telling my children what their behavior will bring them as adults.
8. Using rewards (bribery)
Tricky one. I believe if I give them something now and say do this for me its a bribe. But if I make arrangements with them that they do something in exchange for something afterward its not bribery. Its an incentive.
9. Using threats
Bad idea, rarely effective but I've used it on extreme occasion I'm sure.
10. Toilet training at a particular age
Totally agree. Let their bodies set the pace. I had one fully trained at 2.5 and my 8 year old still wets most nights. Nothing medically/psychologically wrong with him.
11. Forcing young children to share/use manners
Share = not til about 3.5 before that I used distraction the most.
Manners = I'm a stickler for manners.
12. Using DVD baby-sitter
Agree. Used it too much with my daughter, not as much with my son. But I think I let it happen naturally too much than I depended on it.
1. Punishing young children
I assume you mean younger than say 3ish. And physical punishment. If my 3 yo is hitting me with a toy I will take it away and consider it punishment and tell him its not ok to hit. Others may consider it distraction.
2. Putting young children in time-out
Again under 3ish?
3. Letting babies/children "cry it out"
I agree to an extent. Some times they do just need to cry if all other needs have been met. Although most of the time I would still be holding them while they cried it out.
4. Making children do things "because they have to learn"
What kind of things? My son wants money, so we made a list of chores together because he has to learn they money isn't free. He is expected to complete half the list each week to earn his money.
5. Putting young children in daycare
I agree, what do you do if you have no other options?
6. Saying "good boy/girl" and "naughty boy/girl"
I agree, I chastise myself for this, I feel like I'm talking to a dog.
7. Using intimidation (bullying)
I agree but I do it sometimes, telling my children what their behavior will bring them as adults.
8. Using rewards (bribery)
Tricky one. I believe if I give them something now and say do this for me its a bribe. But if I make arrangements with them that they do something in exchange for something afterward its not bribery. Its an incentive.
9. Using threats
Bad idea, rarely effective but I've used it on extreme occasion I'm sure.
10. Toilet training at a particular age
Totally agree. Let their bodies set the pace. I had one fully trained at 2.5 and my 8 year old still wets most nights. Nothing medically/psychologically wrong with him.
11. Forcing young children to share/use manners
Share = not til about 3.5 before that I used distraction the most.
Manners = I'm a stickler for manners.
12. Using DVD baby-sitter
Agree. Used it too much with my daughter, not as much with my son. But I think I let it happen naturally too much than I depended on it.
<t>Greetings, Dads. <br/>
<br/>
Just to put something into perspective: Almost half (46%) of young people hardly ever talk to their fathers about important things, and 28% of children completely lose contact with their fathers three years after their parents separate. We have done research that proves paternal relationships have major impact on a child's well-being and self-esteem.<br/>
<br/>
The Children’s Society is working to help fathers and children develop closer relationships. Our aim is to reduce problems as children grow older. Your views can help us. <br/>
<br/>
The Fatherhood Commission aims to gather evidence from a range of children, professional and the general public, to present a child centred case for the importance of fatherhood. <br/>
<br/>
It will take just 5 minutes to give your views: www[dot]childrenssociety[dot]org[dot]uk/fatherhood</t>
<br/>
Just to put something into perspective: Almost half (46%) of young people hardly ever talk to their fathers about important things, and 28% of children completely lose contact with their fathers three years after their parents separate. We have done research that proves paternal relationships have major impact on a child's well-being and self-esteem.<br/>
<br/>
The Children’s Society is working to help fathers and children develop closer relationships. Our aim is to reduce problems as children grow older. Your views can help us. <br/>
<br/>
The Fatherhood Commission aims to gather evidence from a range of children, professional and the general public, to present a child centred case for the importance of fatherhood. <br/>
<br/>
It will take just 5 minutes to give your views: www[dot]childrenssociety[dot]org[dot]uk/fatherhood</t>
i work in daycare so i see benefits even for quite young children ( 9 months or so) Im not a fan of the 6 week olds in daycare though
What lol, I think I agree with both of those. Those are really things that you wouldn't agree with, and that aren't your parenting style, not the worst parenting advice EVER. :/ I don't spank, and I don't think its useful, and I do think that kids definitely go through phases and that they do in fact work themselves out (with a little encouragement) lol.
We've never spanked any of our children. Not even a little smack on the hand or anything. I think they turned out just fine...well, for the most part at least lol
Fortunately no one ever gave me that piece of advice. I figure out all by myself that hitting a defenseless child is just sick, and will result in either fear or defiance, but not discipline.Ultraman said: