Whenever Oliver is acting out or throws a tantrum his dad swears at him and says terrible things. I know that he's only 1 1/2 but it still gets to me and I told him many times that it is inappropriate but he hasn't listened. I told him that he needs to ignore Oliver's tantrums but they always seem to get to him. He gets frustrated and angry and it just makes things worse. I don't know what to do. I want a peaceful household and when my husband isn't there, sadly, it is very peaceful.
dad swears at toddler...
- Thread starter Lissa
- Start date
I think some people just do not have the patients to ignore little kid tantrums. My hubby is one of them too. He thinks if he keeps yelling at them to stop screaming it will work, yeah right! It just makes it worse. Although my hubby doesn't cuss at them. I would definitely put my foot down about that one. If your hubby says things like that Oliver will pick up on it and start saying it. Maybe the first time he says something like that to your hubby he will get it?
Children are sponges when it comes to any information, and Oliver WILL eventually repeat what he is hearing. He is at the age where he is being molded...try explaining it to your husband this way:
If you want Oliver to be a yelling and screaming child growing up, then keep yelling and swearing at him. If you want him to be a calm and collected child growing up, then you need to model that behavior. His behavior will be directly impacted by the behavior of his parents.
If you want Oliver to be a yelling and screaming child growing up, then keep yelling and swearing at him. If you want him to be a calm and collected child growing up, then you need to model that behavior. His behavior will be directly impacted by the behavior of his parents.
He doesn't understand that children don't get sarcasm. Oliver is too young to know that Daddy doesn't really mean that he is going to kill himself. Make him understand that Oliver will take that seriously, and statements like those can cause irrepairable damage to Oliver's fragile psyche.
Wow Lissa, that is sad. My husband is also guilty of saying things that my kids don't understand. He doesn't swear but he'll say sarcastic things and it really ticks me off.
I have to admit I do cuss around my children. I would never call them a cuss word name but I have broken things or said things on the phone and they've heard but they KNOW not to say them. I'll apologize to them if I know they heard.
Your husband needs to sit down and read a parenting book before he mentally messes little Oliver up.
I think we've all grown to love little Prince O and I think we would all be happy to fly to you and help if you'd like
*bringing duct tape for dh and a parenting video*
I have to admit I do cuss around my children. I would never call them a cuss word name but I have broken things or said things on the phone and they've heard but they KNOW not to say them. I'll apologize to them if I know they heard.
Your husband needs to sit down and read a parenting book before he mentally messes little Oliver up.
I think we've all grown to love little Prince O and I think we would all be happy to fly to you and help if you'd like
*bringing duct tape for dh and a parenting video*
Agreed...he is thinking of himself before the child. Never a good thing for a rapidly developing kid.
He needs to find an alternative thing to say. I mean i know oliver is only a year anda half, but he will pick up on emotions really quickly. I'm not saying for him NOT to parent or dicipline, but if he becomes TOO angry, then maybe he should leave the room or go outside, swear his arse off out side, and then come back in..
That's awful. I'm sorry Lissa. He needs to understand this can have long term effects on Oliver. If he thinks because he's so little he can't understand he's kidding himself. They pick up on the tone and the frustration and it will slowly start to shape who Oliver is. He needs to stop.
My ex used to lose her temper with Bradley, and still does I'm sure.
She could not control herself, no matter how many "talks" we had. It just wasn't in her nature to stop being mean or hitting him.
The only solution was for me to physically remove her from the situation, and deal with our son alone. Can you do that with your husband? Can you kinda push him out of the room pursuading him to let you handle it?
Unacceptable behavior from a parent.
She could not control herself, no matter how many "talks" we had. It just wasn't in her nature to stop being mean or hitting him.
The only solution was for me to physically remove her from the situation, and deal with our son alone. Can you do that with your husband? Can you kinda push him out of the room pursuading him to let you handle it?
Unacceptable behavior from a parent.
Here is the message I sent him.
This may come across as bitchy but I'm just going to say it.
Absolutely no more swearing and yelling at Oliver. He is 1 1/2 years old. Ignore his tantrums. If I ever again see you treating Oliver like you did this morning, I will ask you to leave the house until you cool down. Oliver is at a very influential age and it is IMPERATIVE that you act like an adult. He does not need you swearing at him and telling him you want to kill yourself. Get a grip. I can handle myself. I don't know why you can't.
This may come across as bitchy but I'm just going to say it.
Absolutely no more swearing and yelling at Oliver. He is 1 1/2 years old. Ignore his tantrums. If I ever again see you treating Oliver like you did this morning, I will ask you to leave the house until you cool down. Oliver is at a very influential age and it is IMPERATIVE that you act like an adult. He does not need you swearing at him and telling him you want to kill yourself. Get a grip. I can handle myself. I don't know why you can't.
Nicely done. Stand your ground and be strong. You're doing what is right by putting the child first.
I think we are married to the same guy!!! wish i could help, but I do not know either..
good luck!
good luck!
Lissa said:
If you don't mind...please let us know how he responds. Be aware, he will likely get very defensive. Men hate being wrong! (I'm a man, I know.)
Lissa just make sure when you ask him to leave the house that Oliver does not hear you. When my children grew older and heard me telling their dad that he had to leave it would cause them alot of grief. Just so Oliver doesn't think it's his fault or his behavior that is causing daddy to leave. He will eventually catch on and a child never wants their father to leave no matter what they did.