Having a crappy life....
- Thread starter Demona_Mommy91
- Start date
I know it will :] you guy are so helpful. thank you so much.
(Side note: just started wellbutrin today. Hope it works.)
(Side note: just started wellbutrin today. Hope it works.)
My oldest son his Bipolar. he has periods of time where he is fairly lucid, and other times where he is completely in another world. I mean that literally.
We recently had a conversation with a woman he lived with for about 6 months. She told us about how he was having such a terrible time dealing with the horrible things he had had to do while he was overseas in the Marines. She said that he would just suddenly start shaking and zoning out, "remembering" the bad things he had been through. Apparently he also started waking up toward the end of the relationship at night, crying himself awake from his nightmares. He would recount for her some memory of a kid he had killed or a young mother while over there, and how it was haunting him so that he couldn't sleep.
These vivid memories and nightmares were causing him to lose sleep, and to even fall off during the day, into some trance like state while he relived them.
My son has never been in the Marines or overseas.
These were his "manic" episodes. Times when he was in such a heightened emotional state that his mind was racing off into imagined other lives that he believed were real.
Other times he would be so suicidal, we would have to take turns watching him. When he was younger, I was frequently called home from work because he had picked up a weapon and was threatening the wife with it. These were his depressed times.
We have dealt with our son and he is indeed on Lithium to manage his illness. But my point is that true bipolar is a devastating disease that ruins lives. While I am certainly no doctor and would not pretend to be, nothing you have described to us indicates anything other than a normal, frustrated mother. What you described is something we all go through, times when we just have to walk away, or risk saying or doing something we would regret later.
If you truly have an issue with bipolar disorder, then the medicine is something you certainly should work to get balanced and get on. but if all you have as evidence of your disorder is that you occasionally get too frustrated with your daughter to be able to deal with her, i would definitely consider getting another doctors opinion before medicating.
We recently had a conversation with a woman he lived with for about 6 months. She told us about how he was having such a terrible time dealing with the horrible things he had had to do while he was overseas in the Marines. She said that he would just suddenly start shaking and zoning out, "remembering" the bad things he had been through. Apparently he also started waking up toward the end of the relationship at night, crying himself awake from his nightmares. He would recount for her some memory of a kid he had killed or a young mother while over there, and how it was haunting him so that he couldn't sleep.
These vivid memories and nightmares were causing him to lose sleep, and to even fall off during the day, into some trance like state while he relived them.
My son has never been in the Marines or overseas.
These were his "manic" episodes. Times when he was in such a heightened emotional state that his mind was racing off into imagined other lives that he believed were real.
Other times he would be so suicidal, we would have to take turns watching him. When he was younger, I was frequently called home from work because he had picked up a weapon and was threatening the wife with it. These were his depressed times.
We have dealt with our son and he is indeed on Lithium to manage his illness. But my point is that true bipolar is a devastating disease that ruins lives. While I am certainly no doctor and would not pretend to be, nothing you have described to us indicates anything other than a normal, frustrated mother. What you described is something we all go through, times when we just have to walk away, or risk saying or doing something we would regret later.
If you truly have an issue with bipolar disorder, then the medicine is something you certainly should work to get balanced and get on. but if all you have as evidence of your disorder is that you occasionally get too frustrated with your daughter to be able to deal with her, i would definitely consider getting another doctors opinion before medicating.
Well, Wellbutrin is actual only an anxiety/depression medication. Its not for bipolar. Well, maybe for part of it but in general its for depression. (it also helps you quit smoking. 
)
Wellbutrin Information from Drugs.com
It does help with easing frustration and keeping you in a happy place. But if you were diagnosed with true bipolar, generally they will treat it with at least two, possibly three different types of medicine in order to control it. Lithium like Martin mentioned is used for the Manic part of bipolar (also called Manic Depression), and it also doubles as a treatment for epilepsy. Interesting stuff! Anyway its VERY strong and has some not fun side effects, which is why it is only used for the serious stuff.
When I was diagnosed with bipolar, they had me on:
1. Prozac (anti depressant/anxiety)
<U>Prozac Capsules Facts and Comparisons at Drugs.com</U>
2. Depakote (for the manic half of things)
Depakote Information from Drugs.com
AND
3. Risperdal (mood stabilizer)
Risperdal Tablets Facts and Comparisons at Drugs.com
But I agree with Martin, that real bipolar is a devastating and serious disorder.
)Wellbutrin Information from Drugs.com
It does help with easing frustration and keeping you in a happy place. But if you were diagnosed with true bipolar, generally they will treat it with at least two, possibly three different types of medicine in order to control it. Lithium like Martin mentioned is used for the Manic part of bipolar (also called Manic Depression), and it also doubles as a treatment for epilepsy. Interesting stuff! Anyway its VERY strong and has some not fun side effects, which is why it is only used for the serious stuff.
When I was diagnosed with bipolar, they had me on:
1. Prozac (anti depressant/anxiety)
<U>Prozac Capsules Facts and Comparisons at Drugs.com</U>
2. Depakote (for the manic half of things)
Depakote Information from Drugs.com
AND
3. Risperdal (mood stabilizer)
Risperdal Tablets Facts and Comparisons at Drugs.com
But I agree with Martin, that real bipolar is a devastating and serious disorder.
I actually take two medications now. I take abilify and wellbutrin...whoa, couldn't remember how to spell for a second there.. my bipolar isn't extremely bad but managable with the medications I'm taking now.
by the way, I'm sorry about your son :[
by the way, I'm sorry about your son :[
I reread my post and just wanted to say I hope you understand I wasn't saying "psssh, You don't know what Bipolar is!" or accusing you of not have TRUE bipolar.
I didn't mean anything like that at all Demona. I just meant to say that I think we are far too quick to diagnose and medicate people for serious illnesses when a lot of times there are other ways to deal with what is really just a personality quirk, or a learned behavior that needs corrected. Like Xero said, she has learned to deal with some things just by modifying her behavior.
I only meant to say that based on what you have described to us, I would consider getting a second doctors opinion. My experience would tell me that what you described doesn't sound like bipolar, or at least is a VERY mild case of it. And while I know it can be tough to deal with, I would wonder if taking serious medications for something so mild is really in your best interest. The medicines they will put you on for "bipolar" can have some serious side effects. And before I committed to doing that, I would make a little more sure it was really necessary.
Again, just my opinion. I am not a doctor, don't play one on TV, and didn't even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night . . .
I didn't mean anything like that at all Demona. I just meant to say that I think we are far too quick to diagnose and medicate people for serious illnesses when a lot of times there are other ways to deal with what is really just a personality quirk, or a learned behavior that needs corrected. Like Xero said, she has learned to deal with some things just by modifying her behavior.
I only meant to say that based on what you have described to us, I would consider getting a second doctors opinion. My experience would tell me that what you described doesn't sound like bipolar, or at least is a VERY mild case of it. And while I know it can be tough to deal with, I would wonder if taking serious medications for something so mild is really in your best interest. The medicines they will put you on for "bipolar" can have some serious side effects. And before I committed to doing that, I would make a little more sure it was really necessary.
Again, just my opinion. I am not a doctor, don't play one on TV, and didn't even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night . . .
Do you feel like a jobless bum or is it your parents that are 'nagging' about your idlesome behaviour?
Maybe discuss your plans and proactively work on your goals, I'm sure if you discussed your feelings and the fact you do have goals, your parents might let up a little and encourage you even more with your goals.
Being a single mother is not a plus if you want to live on your own and get your life together. It's very hard.
I'd suggest staying with your parents while you get your HS diploma and enroll in costmetology school and get a fun part time job.
And continue with the SSRI's, though it takes as least a month before they start working. It does seem that you suffer from depression such as I do from time to time.
Maybe discuss your plans and proactively work on your goals, I'm sure if you discussed your feelings and the fact you do have goals, your parents might let up a little and encourage you even more with your goals.
Being a single mother is not a plus if you want to live on your own and get your life together. It's very hard.
I'd suggest staying with your parents while you get your HS diploma and enroll in costmetology school and get a fun part time job.
And continue with the SSRI's, though it takes as least a month before they start working. It does seem that you suffer from depression such as I do from time to time.
what's SSRI? and its not that they're giving me a dead line or anything, its that i'm tired of living with them.
Little bit of tough love...incoming
When the times are tough, just think how much worse it can be. Look you can be in the middle of africa or asia right now....no shelter, 130 degrees and you have to walk 2 miles just to get some dirty water to drink.....while risking your life with rebels.
read/watch some World War 2 documentry (The War - Ken Burns) is a great one. Learn about that period of time...it will make you CHERISH today like NEVER BEFORE.
Ok so now off to your life....
When I was 19, my wife was pregnant, I worked at a deli, lived at my moms....and things were looking pretty bad. So I can relate to you quite a bit.
DO NOT LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. Focus on day to day and don't think about too far into future. It will simply be WAY too overwhelming.
Focus on baby steps. You need to get some kind of education so you can find a decent job. Don't worry about your dream job for now....take on ANYTHING.
Best way to get into a job is......CONNECTION. Do you know anyone that can hook you up, give you a chance? It will be ALL about "willingness to learn" on your end....so hope you are good at it.
When I was 19 I went to business school for Drafting. My dream was to be a Car Designer.....but I quickly found out that my dream has a 1 in a million chance of happening. ANyways after Drafting school I was able to find a decent job. But unless I went to college I would've been stuck making $35k a year....and even after college....well let's just say I didn't see too many engineers making 50-60k a year (and some had MASTERS DEGREES). I loved engineering but the field doesn't pay well....
So one day my bro asked me if I wanted to be an IT tech, he was able to get me a job with no experience (I didn't even know how to hook up mouse/keyboard at the time). I was blessed to get a job, but I did have to prove myself....and I did. Within few months I was one of the top guys in my department.
here I am 6 years later, now I'm a project manager.
Never went to college and if you asked me 11 years ago (when I was 19) I would've never thought the life would take me where I am today.
Now we have 4 kids.
I own my success to my brother for getting my feet wet in IT AND Project Management (and of course those that were willing to take a chance with me). I was VERY lucky.
Anyways, keep your head up, focus on connections/finding a job and education. Go to Community college and try to transfer to top name university. Next to a good job connection Comm College is the best thing you can do for yourself!!!
Don't worry about the big picture. Good things come to people that do good thing or have good intentions.
When the times are tough, just think how much worse it can be. Look you can be in the middle of africa or asia right now....no shelter, 130 degrees and you have to walk 2 miles just to get some dirty water to drink.....while risking your life with rebels.
read/watch some World War 2 documentry (The War - Ken Burns) is a great one. Learn about that period of time...it will make you CHERISH today like NEVER BEFORE.
Ok so now off to your life....
When I was 19, my wife was pregnant, I worked at a deli, lived at my moms....and things were looking pretty bad. So I can relate to you quite a bit.
DO NOT LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. Focus on day to day and don't think about too far into future. It will simply be WAY too overwhelming.
Focus on baby steps. You need to get some kind of education so you can find a decent job. Don't worry about your dream job for now....take on ANYTHING.
Best way to get into a job is......CONNECTION. Do you know anyone that can hook you up, give you a chance? It will be ALL about "willingness to learn" on your end....so hope you are good at it.
When I was 19 I went to business school for Drafting. My dream was to be a Car Designer.....but I quickly found out that my dream has a 1 in a million chance of happening. ANyways after Drafting school I was able to find a decent job. But unless I went to college I would've been stuck making $35k a year....and even after college....well let's just say I didn't see too many engineers making 50-60k a year (and some had MASTERS DEGREES). I loved engineering but the field doesn't pay well....
So one day my bro asked me if I wanted to be an IT tech, he was able to get me a job with no experience (I didn't even know how to hook up mouse/keyboard at the time). I was blessed to get a job, but I did have to prove myself....and I did. Within few months I was one of the top guys in my department.
here I am 6 years later, now I'm a project manager.
Never went to college and if you asked me 11 years ago (when I was 19) I would've never thought the life would take me where I am today.
Now we have 4 kids.
I own my success to my brother for getting my feet wet in IT AND Project Management (and of course those that were willing to take a chance with me). I was VERY lucky.
Anyways, keep your head up, focus on connections/finding a job and education. Go to Community college and try to transfer to top name university. Next to a good job connection Comm College is the best thing you can do for yourself!!!
Don't worry about the big picture. Good things come to people that do good thing or have good intentions.