My wife won't stop hitting my son :-(...
- Thread starter FooserX
- Start date
Another thing I think we're missing here, is the pre-hit parenting.
A kid only listens if he/she has to. Like...my son listens to me 99% of the time. With mom, he only listens to her maybe 75%. He knows that she won't punish, or get tough with him until the 4th or 5th time of asking.
So in his mind, he's doesn't need to listen until she's at her limit...but by then it's too late.
So maybe talking to my wife about being consistent up front would help too.
I'd wager to bet Veronica is the same. She has to ask 3 or 4 or 8 times....and the kids don't listen...then she loses it, and thinks it's the kids' fault when it's really the parents.
Just some thoughts.
A kid only listens if he/she has to. Like...my son listens to me 99% of the time. With mom, he only listens to her maybe 75%. He knows that she won't punish, or get tough with him until the 4th or 5th time of asking.
So in his mind, he's doesn't need to listen until she's at her limit...but by then it's too late.
So maybe talking to my wife about being consistent up front would help too.
I'd wager to bet Veronica is the same. She has to ask 3 or 4 or 8 times....and the kids don't listen...then she loses it, and thinks it's the kids' fault when it's really the parents.
Just some thoughts.
I agree with alot of the other posters. I actually had issue with this and I gave up punishing my stepdaughter. Things have been getting progressively worse between her and I. She is openly defiante to me. If we are home together and she has bad behavior I will only send her to her room. Any punishment spanking time out whatever is now done only by dad. As for your wife my best suggestion would be first before anything else send him away from her physically. His room, the corner, a time out chair whatever. Count to ten and begin again more successfully.
The same buddy I spoke about in my previous post had a dad who wasn't a very big guy, but when he said "Take out the trash" or whatever, he only said it once. All the kids in their family knew he meant business. I don't think the guy ever laid a hand on any one of his kids, he just had an air\look of authority and the kids naturally fell in line when they where told what to do.FooserX said:
exactly fooser - never lie to your kid, don't even tell untruths. Let your yes be yes and your no be no and your "Get here right now" be your "Get here right now".FooserX said:
Eric, There are three moderators in this forum; Kaytee, Fallon, and myself. We've been here nearly everyday since the day we each first arrived individually. We volunteer our time to help keep the forum headed in the right direction and to offer any advice we might have. I professionally work in software development, and do this because I am reasonably good it based on having been on the Internet nearly every day for the past 15+ years. I even go back further into the dialup BBS forums running at 14k-28K. I am however have bad spelling, even worse grammar, and can't proof read my own messages.eric@sealguide said:
Keep us updated on the progress with your book.
Hey Jtee if you click on the ABC on the right it should prompt you do get a spell check downloaded. I'm sure you probably already know that but if you are worried about your spelling that would help.
I hate it when people worry about other's spelling. I downloaded the spell check myself...hahaha
I type so fast that I often make mistakes and I teach school...go figure.
I hate it when people worry about other's spelling. I downloaded the spell check myself...hahaha
I type so fast that I often make mistakes and I teach school...go figure.
Wow thanks for your time. That's great that you do that. A very worthy cause.
I'm having a tough time tracking the replies to my posts. Like I don't even know how I got here?
Is there a place on the site that will pull up threads that I'm in?
I get the email alerts, but they don't seem to cover everything.
I'm having a tough time tracking the replies to my posts. Like I don't even know how I got here?
Is there a place on the site that will pull up threads that I'm in?
I get the email alerts, but they don't seem to cover everything.
Thanks, I do use that, and I am still pretty bad. I agree spelling\grammar really is not too big of a deal and I don't think any less of others who can't spell.musicmom said:Hey Jtee if you click on the ABC on the right it should prompt you do get a spell check downloaded. I'm sure you probably already know that but if you are worried about your spelling that would help.
I hate it when people worry about other's spelling. I downloaded the spell check myself...hahaha
I type so fast that I often make mistakes and I teach school...go figure.
What most people do, or should do, is use the "Today's Posts"eric@sealguide said:
You can find your own posts by clicking your name next to each post and select Find more posts by Eric
I use these links 95% of the time to do most everything.
I took everyone's advice about not hitting my daughter pretty seriously. I am only human and I learn from trial and error...it seemed to work so I didn't think about it being wrong, but you've opened my eyes and I thank you. We're even trying new things with our 3 year old...now when he makes a mess, we just make him clean it up...and thats it. So....please forgive my ignorance....I'm sure my childrenr thank you as well
Vrronica, don't be so hard on yourself. We learn as we go too. NO ONE is an expert at parenting. NO ONE! All you can do is get advice and try it. If it works then great...if not then try something else. At least you are open minded and that's huge.
You are like me...I have three children around the same age and it can be demanding at times, we have to reprogram our ways of thinking as they get older because what worked when they were one obviously isn't going to work when they are six.
Everytime I see your siggy I want to squeeze all those babies. Too cute!
You are like me...I have three children around the same age and it can be demanding at times, we have to reprogram our ways of thinking as they get older because what worked when they were one obviously isn't going to work when they are six.
Everytime I see your siggy I want to squeeze all those babies. Too cute!
I feel really guilty about hitting my kids now. I realize that I was being selfish and disrespectful toward them...I wish I had this discussion years ago I lost my temper, they wouldn't listen, I got weak....I talked to my daughter and she told me that when I hit her she feels like she's not important and unwanted....that is NOT the message I wanted her to get. She needs to know she is loved, all my children do. Tell your wife to get more exercise (seriously)...it should give her more energy, help her relieve stress, make her feel better about herself, etc. Hitting her won't do anything but get you locked up, that was stupid advice. Tell her what my daughter said, how being hit makes a child feel unwanted and unimportant. If that doesn't help...I dunno...get a new wife.
I lost my temper, they wouldn't listen, I got weak....I talked to my daughter and she told me that when I hit her she feels like she's not important and unwanted....that is NOT the message I wanted her to get. She needs to know she is loved, all my children do. Tell your wife to get more exercise (seriously)...it should give her more energy, help her relieve stress, make her feel better about herself, etc. Hitting her won't do anything but get you locked up, that was stupid advice. Tell her what my daughter said, how being hit makes a child feel unwanted and unimportant. If that doesn't help...I dunno...get a new wife.Veronica,
I'm super impressed on your ability to self correct. That takes a lot of power and confidence. Your kids are so lucky to have someone like you.
That's the beauty of parenting. If we pay attention we can learn while the kids are still young and don't know any better. I think that's why God made them so their brain develops over a long period of time. It's a natural way to train us parents.
Eric
I'm super impressed on your ability to self correct. That takes a lot of power and confidence. Your kids are so lucky to have someone like you.
That's the beauty of parenting. If we pay attention we can learn while the kids are still young and don't know any better. I think that's why God made them so their brain develops over a long period of time. It's a natural way to train us parents.
Eric