I'm well aware that testosterone isn't going to create a penis in a biological female. My question was if he somehow had one added while keeping the original equipment.
As far as your comment regarding what difference a penis makes and who are we to judge... It's not a matter of judging. No where have I condemned them for their choices. It was a statement in response to something brought up in another's post.
Sexually - yes. We are defined by those organs. Regardless of one's psychological sexual identity, if I am having sex involving a penis (vs some kind of sex toy), I am having sex with a man.
If I am having sex involving a vagina, I am having sex with a woman. And since I am a woman, that would be a lesbian experience. And that's what the circumstances are here.
An experience doesn't make you anything - gay, bi, whatever. But if that is what feels right to you, and you chose to follow your heart, then you are in a homosexual relationship (and by proxy, either gay or bisexual). That's not a judgment. It's just reality.
Look at it this way: if I were dating some guy and he told me into the relationship that he was a woman physically, I'd be out. I am not even comfortable with a guy going down on me (and on the rare occassion I've allowed it, I'm not kissing him after. The idea of tasting mself makes me gag even sitting here). So I can guarantee that I am not going to do it to somebody else. For me personally, being a lesbian is just not an option. Sure - I am probably more sexually repressed than most... but I am not capable of providing sexual stimulation to a woman, which is what it would be.
Nonsexually, I don't beleive that our organs always define who we are. However, this person chose to keep those parts because s/he "might someday want a child." But did s/he know that he was going to end up with a infertile partner? I'm guessing not. So that tells me that s/he wasn't completely ready to commit to becoming a man in body as well as spirit.
That's his/her right. But then s/he was not completely and 100% committed to being the other sex. That to me is where the line is drawn.
As I said before, if you are psychologically a man - meaning not just male tendencies, but truly committed or truly desire to be a man completely, to me, you are a man. If you are not completely committed (as with this person - hedging their bets), then I feel that you are still at the core level whomever you started out as.
And that's fine. I don't have a problem with that. At the bottom line, I just don't feel that this is any different than any other lesbian couple getting an artificial insemination.
If s/he was refused for reassignment surgery, my perspective would change. After all, they won't do it for everybody. But at this point, that is not how I understand the situation.