Mom2all said:
I re-read my post now that I am awake and it did sound a little on the rude side with the definition of respect. I'm sincerely sorry about that. However, I still think you spew venom. When your entire post here about this old lady is the fact that her existence seems to do nothing but annoy you. You stated in a post that "Yes, it was immature of me to bitch all day about my hair but I figured if she wanted to make me miserable about me doing something that made me happy, I was going to make her miserable listening to me bitch about something that made her happy."
That makes me feel your anger toward her for being something at her age she can not help nor hope to change. How can you be angry with her for not being accepting when your not. She is a woman who grew up in America's 1920's. She was your age during a world war where women had a place and knew it. And at 92 she's lived long enough to rate the right to voice her opinion. Even if she seems hateful and bossy.. she's set in her ways and if for no other reason than the fact she is your Great Grandma, she should be given a certain amount of freedom and respect. Give her what your asking her to give you. Room to be what she is. Don't try to change her or make her life miserable. She doesn't have much life left.
As a adult, we make exceptions for certain people. Children, the challenged and the elderly. We don't do certain things in front of them that otherwise we find nothing wrong with. Sexy clothes.. for sexy times. Grandma seeing half my boobs wouldn't be the time. I'm not saying that you should dye your hair back or take off jewelry, but why not tone the "I'm smoking hot" image down a notch for her? It wouldn't kill you and might keep her from having a coronary. I go to mass when I visit my Darling's elderly mother and I'm not even catholic. It makes her happy so why not? I wear my longer skirts to my Grandma's. It makes her smile.. so why not? That's what being a respectable adult is. Not just being concerned with our own needs but considering the feelings of others.
And perhaps you weren't intending on bumping uglies. But with the attitude that "I'm not changing a thing about me for her benefit.. she can like it or lump it", I expected that that part of your life was included. What made you draw the line there?
Her existence does not annoy me, her remarks and attitude about ME is what makes me upset.
I am accepting, she is who is she, which is why I am not rude to her about it and I tolerated it last time but a lot of things have changed since I last visited that I know SHE will be nasty about. I just want a kind way to tell her, your remarks hurt my feelings, please don't say rude things or have such an attitude about who I am because it hurts me. I grew up in a different time and I am different. The way I am makes me happy. I want to tell her I am not rude to her because of her differences so why does she have to be that way to me? It's the same way around, I didn't grow up in her time, this is all I know, she has the bigger advantage, she is alive in that time and this one, she's seen the world progress and change over the decades so she's had plenty of time to adjust and at least be used to it. She was born in 1919 and she didn't just grow up in the 20's/30's and skip over the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and 00's and pop right back into today with no transition.
And it's not like my boobs are popping out and my butt cheeks are showing.
But my clothes aren't loose fitting and they aren't like painted on tight either.
My jeans are super fitted, I wear a size 2, they don't look loose but I can breathe and sit in them. Some of my jeans are ripped. I don't have much money for clothes, when I buy fall clothes I'll be getting stuff that fits me for everyday wear. I'm not going to go buy 4's because she'll like them more, I have a size 4, the butt of the jeans is droopy, looks tacky.
My boobs don't hang out of my tank tops and she hates tank tops, usually you could see a bra strap, I wear a lot of racer back tanks, or fitted tanks from American Eagle.
My clothes aren't as loose as she'd like them, and she'd prefer them super loose on me. I plan on buying new clothes before I go and I plan on buying the RIGHT sizes, a small and 2, I'll have to wear this stuff everyday and I want to look good in it, I can't go buying a size bigger in all my stuff for one visit and I can't wear the same thing the whole time.
yeah that's one thing I refuse to do, is go to church to make someone happy. I don't do church, he doesn't do church, it would be unethical to force me to go to church.
And if we stay in my grandmothers room which she offered to us to stay in, if she gives us that room, yeah it would be weird to have sex in her bed, if we stay up in the loft then it might possibly happen,not saying it will not saying it won't, we'll be in a bed no one uses or we may even get an air mattress since there are only two twin beds in loft and he is 6ft. Plus there's the airport parking lot here, the airplane rides, various places (tennessee is full of woods), tons of places, we don't need a bed inside the house to have sex, we're creative. I am partially kidding.
Even if we did, who knows, it's not like we'd be loud about it.
He used to have to sneak me into his old apartment cause his roommate was some crazy woman in her late 30's and we now live in a house where there is a 3 year old, you can bet we're the masters of no one knowing, so if we did, not saying it will, they wouldn't even know.
