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"Means if anything occurs, they will take the fall, for anything and everything." You are right there RegalSin - I would absolutely hold them responsible if anything were to happen!

I think parentastic has some good advice. I question though how much danger the child is in? Many parents have different views on how to keep their children "safe". My very sane very lovely friends often rode with their child in the front seat when she was too small to do so - I frowned at this...

mentalmum - wouldn't it be nice if we could be their best friend and their mum. How do we get through this mine field and still retain a a close relationship. I choose mum first but still dream of both. :arghh:

Thank you everyone. I feel the lies were just not worth the repercussions -they have been worse than the crime! This actually isn't the first time a mother has lied to me about what was going on with my daugther. Another story. I seem to be surrounded by mother's who think that it is better to...

Noted Squishy - sometimes the temptation is overwhelming when you know they are just not telling you what is going on in their lives and easy to fall into the sneaky snoop trap - I will try to keep my nose to myself!

Yes - tough one for me now as the girl lives around the corner and they are good friends. My daughter is also 17 now and has a bit of independance. It get's harder as they get older to just say "you are not going there". I would rather talk about the issues with her and help her to understand...

I agree IADad - just because a teen has paid for something does not hold any weight for me - my daughter's safety and my responsibility as a parent are most important. If I feel worried and the only avenue I feel I have is to find out what is going on so that I can protect her - that has to be...

How funny mom2many - you are right - the messages are not great reading...time to get my teeth scraped instead :D

Oh - and I really like lederstol's approach - reward the good behaviour! However - does that include online books : )

You have made some good points too Christopher. It is always a fine line around what you make a big deal about and what you let go. They do say don't sweat the small stuff but is it small? The important things will be different for everyone. I have a friend who has the greatest, most polite...

I wondered if anyone feels that they should read their teenagers (15-18 let's say) phone messages? If yes - is it at any time? If no - does that mean if you feel there is something really bad going on that your teen won't tell you, you still won't look? I understand the trust aspect and...

Thank you jessicams and mom2many. Yes - my daughter has apologised and we have discussed repercussions but the mom should have understood. I was feeling a bit alone for awhile -thank you

OK - you have a point singledad but let's look at it another way - if we don't have some parameters around what is abuse...how we will prosecute the parents who really are abusing kids? There simply needs to be some guidelines.

Very hard not to say something about how silly spanking is as a form of discipline but...If you were to give the odd "tap" - it would have to stop at the age where the child has some higher reasoning skills - 7, 8? I can't even imaging spanking my 17 yo daughter - if I yelled at her or swore at...

Hi What I find interesting is that everyone is missing the fact that this lazy neice has brought her 3 children to live in your home and is neglecting them! You are making their breakfast! For goodness sake - what a lovely person you are but if you need to make some rules for YOUR house. Why on...

I would like some opinions on this as I feel I might be over reacting to this - maybe. My teen daughter is allowed to go to parties under certain conditions. We try to keep her as safe as possible at these parties and curb underage drinking as much as possible - which is hard these days as kids...

I am not all in favour of hitting a child - it gets you no where no matter what you think and breaks a trust. It is also often done in anger and opens you up to some dangerous repercussions. Discuss rules and consequences with your kids - be clear - post them on the fridge - even ask them to set...

I actually think you shouldn't worry about this too much or try to measure it in hours. Keep them involved in sports, outside activities and engage their minds. My teen son is on his computer when he is not out with his friends or working. My teen daughter is on facebook while she studies - is...

We have just done one for a conference to show how people can connect. I saw the Oprah one (with the Black Eyed Peas - fantastic) and it was really special. It made me feel fantastic and I have played it over and over. The people involved had such a great time! What a great idea - whoever...

You sound like a son that they should be proud of. I think if you make them part of the process - get them to help you find a place, plan the budget and even talk about how they will remain in your life - it may put their concerns to rest. Sthohnjulie has the right approach on this.