Mad dad.....

[mom2many]

That's what's really troubling me, the amount of positive reactions this guy gets.
Yeah, his daughter probably misbehaved - but to react in a way this guy does? Take the laptop from her, sell it, do whatever, but just TALK TO HER FACE TO FACE if you are an adult. But this guy....

You can talk until you are blue in the face with teenagers and it will usually go in one ear and out the other. This was not the first time dad had to have her actions corrected. The previous times involved normal teen consequence. There comes a point where talking no longer works and some other type of actions is needed.

 

[Mom2all]

I love the guy. I salute him. It's funny to me how very different everyones opinions are. I have to remind myself to close my gaping mouth when I read some of the things I do on here. My father would have so done this very thing for me when I was younger. I know, because when I ignored my chores to play my nintendo, he walked in and very deliberately tossed it out the door in the rain. And when the TV consumed my after school time and homework was neglected, he very deliberately walked in, looked at me and cut the cord to it off. I was angry both times. I learned to dust and vacuum before playing and do my homework before watching TV. I wasn't scarred from it.. unless you believe that now my instinct as a grown up is to get my work done before I play is a mental scar. In that case, I'd be coved in them. I remember that my sister saying her one curse word as a teenager in the presence of adults shocked us all. Its slipped out her mouth in the car one day and ended up being something we've laughed about for the last 35 years. Dad and her both just stared at each other.. him in surprise and her mortified. We, both her and I had and have enough respect for our Dad it was shocking then and would be now to disrespect him like that. I think the very reason we have the problems we do with our youth now is because we as parents forget that our job is to raise our children to be the kind of grown up that we'd be proud to call a friend one day. You can't teach that letting them live in a fairy tale world were what ever they do is okay because they should have a right to express themselves however they want. Thats not the real world that they'll have to live in one day. I wish that more parents would realize this sooner. The world is quickly headed into a generation of children that will lack the good old morals that the past has had. And they'll be picking our nursing homes.

 

[bssage]

I understand what he was doing. But I would have handled it differently. I would have more likely sold the computer. Maybe printed what her facebook wall and left it on the breakfast table. Then just waited for calmer minds to discuss.

The "I have had enough." and throw good sense out the window reaction. Is a pet peeve of mine. And I would guess it explains what his daughter did on facebook as well as his reaction to that. The apple does not fall far from the tree. I think that his daughter may very well learn a lesson. But not the one he wanted her to.

I understand. Have felt like trashing stuff from time to time. But he is really only costing himself money. And teaching a lesson that is counterproductive in the process.

 

[BabyAngel]

I'm with you on this fiona_f...

I don't see what's so good about this reaction... obviously is a video made to spread on the internet.... to get a good ranking on youtube !

Oh, and he so doesn't look like an IT guy !

 

[Mom2all]

Oh, and he so doesn't look like an IT guy !

What does one look like?

 

[singledad]

Oh, and he so doesn't look like an IT guy !

Neither do I

And I'm a programmer.

As for the video - I haven't seen it, but it always amazes how how people just *happen* to have a camera running and pointed at them when they're about to loose their temper.

 

[BabyAngel]

What does one look like?

More geeky ! Just kidding obviously. But seriously, with 17 years in IT, I've never seen an IT guy wearing a cowboy hat ! :jimlad:

 

[mom2many]

Neither do I

And I'm a programmer.

As for the video - I haven't seen it, but it always amazes how how people just *happen* to have a camera running and pointed at them when they're about to loose their temper.

It was intentional, he knew exactle what he was doing. It was supposed to be for his DD and her friends to see but as with anything online it took off.

And fast.

 

[NancyM]

Neither do I

And I'm a programmer.

As for the video - I haven't seen it, but it always amazes how how people just *happen* to have a camera running and pointed at them when they're about to loose their temper.

Pretty much what I said SD, I agree. First of all I think what kids say to each other on FB should be somewhat private. They are people after all and they have their own stresses and gripes I don't think we parents should be butting into every single message they write to their friends.

Obviously she had permission to use faceBook by her parents, in this case I think Dad needed to give her a little free Raine and allow her to express herself freely, and utilize FB the same way we all do. It really cracks me up when parents are shocked that their children have negative opinions, and don't think the same way they do...God forbid.
Teens always have something negative to say about their parents it's just the natural order of things...the difference is that in the past parents didn't know what their kids were thinking, and today on FB it's right in the parents faces. And we don't like it.

I'd rather be able to see what my son was thinking. I like facebook for this reason (my son will not friend me by the way lol lol, ) but I get to see my nieces nephews and their friends views and thoughts.

I don't respond to them unless they are directing a post at me though because it's not my business unless it was something dangerous or detrimental. It's basically teen age- nonsense sometimes bad words and crazy song lyrics but other than that, let them be.

I think, if this is an actual on the spot "mad dad' which Im not so sure it is , than he over reacted. How about taking her computer away for a week or two or giving her more chores or something normal like that.

Blowing away her computer with a hand gun, and vido taping it?? IMO Weird.

 

[mom2many]

Pretty much what I said SD, I agree. First of all I think what kids say to each other on FB should be somewhat private. They are people after all and they have their own stresses and gripes I don't think we parents should be butting into every single message they write to their friends.

Obviously she had permission to use faceBook by her parents, in this case I think Dad needed to give her a little free Raine and allow her to express herself freely, and utilize FB the same way we all do. It really cracks me up when parents are shocked that their children have negative opinions, and don't think the same way they do...God forbid.
Teens always have something negative to say about their parents it's just the natural order of things...the difference is that in the past parents didn't know what their kids were thinking, and today on FB it's right in the parents faces. And we don't like it.

I'd rather be able to see what my son was thinking. I like facebook for this reason (my son will not friend me by the way lol lol, ) but I get to see my nieces nephews and their friends views and thoughts.

I don't respond to them unless they are directing a post at me though because it's not my business unless it was something dangerous or detrimental. It's basically teen age- nonsense sometimes bad words and crazy song lyrics but other than that, let them be.

I think, if this is an actual on the spot "mad dad' which Im not so sure it is , than he over reacted. How about taking her computer away for a week or two or giving her more chores or something normal like that.

Blowing away her computer with a hand gun, and vido taping it?? IMO Weird.

She just got the computer back after being grounded from it for 3 weeks. She knew the terms of using the computer and 1 day after getting it back and dad upgrading it she went against their rules. We dont have to agree or even like their rules, but his DD should. The biggest offense was how she addressed the lady who cleaned their house, sorry but she was rude and as a parent i would have lost my cool also.

I do agree that most of teenagers say on facebook should go in one ear and out the other. If you are told though to be mindful of what you do say and agree to the terms then the parents have right to hold them to that. I honestly could care less what mine say, but that is me. I know plenty of parents who dont feel the same way.

Shooting ut with a gun WAS extreme, i garauntee though that the DD got the message loud and clear.

 

[MomoJA]

I don't think this was staged. I don't think he was expecting this to go viral. I don't think he's lying about having a background in IT.

I do, however, agree that his reaction may not have the results he would hope, and chances are his daughter learned her sassiness from the adults in her life. I don't condemn him for his reaction. I don't think it was the worst thing he could have done, and I completely understand why it resonates with people.

I don't know how I would react to that. I hope that I am teaching my daughter the sorts of values that would mean she would not do what that girl did. I hope that I'm establishing a relationship with her that would make her not want to do those sorts of things. But I've learned enough about karma with regards to parenting to never say that my child will never do that. So I won't judge this guy harshly. I believe he does want the best for his daughter and I support him in his attempts to address that level of disrespectful behavior.

 

[NancyM]

I didn't care to read as much as you did M2M so maybe I didn't get all the detail, but just from the little I saw on the news, and on the internet,I still feel that Dad is watching everything she does and says on FB a tad to closely like he's waiting for her to screw up. He's the adult and should act more like one, sorry I don't agree with the idea that since daughter disrespected the maid, and went against her parents instructions,her personal items should be video taped and destroyed in front of the whole world.

That's a little over the top, maybe pop needs to learn some new techniques when it comes to disciplining his daughter in my opinion she is acting very normal for a teenager, as we know how they continue to push our very last nerve button.

And if if she was so bad, maybe she shouldn't have been given back the computer again after the first couple of warnings. Seems like she must be an unusually disobedient child and perhaps parents shooting their children's toys/gifts/items... should become the new trend. It appears many people think he was right and kind of heroic Personally I still think he looked like a horses ass, I just hope it doesn't cause some disturbed people to use the same approach when they get mad at their kids. The world is full of crazy people.:goofy:

 

[MomoJA]

I think the difference between kids saying things on facebook and telling their friends the same thing as they sit on the pier and throw rocks is that FB is permanent and much more public. It is the equivalent of writing a letter to the newspaper in my day, and if I had addressed my parents that way in my day, I hope they would have punished me harshly.

If nothing else, it is tasteless and reflects on the child. It puts her in the worst light, and I would not want that sort of stain on my child's personna, public or private.

As for children having views that differ from their parents, that is different from being a potty-mouthed, disrespectful ingrate with a sense of entitlement. I do, though, think it is also important to stress to children that they need to temper everything they write on FB or any social networking program. These things are recorded and can be accessed 20, 30, 50 years from now. It's one thing for an arrogant teen to spout off about this or that on the corner while talkng to friends. It's another thing to write it in stone.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

I'll not try to comment or judge the parenting aspect of this man's actions.


But so far what his clip has achieved, is a worldwide ridicule of... America :veryconfused:

 

[MomoJA]

But so far what his clip has achieved, is a worldwide ridicule of... America :veryconfused:

No offense, but I always find these sorts of comments ridiculous. They seem to be more motivated by a feeling of inferiority of those making them.

It's raining in America. How stupid America is. Any excuse, right? Just saying.

 

[Mom2all]

<r><QUOTE><s>

</s>As for the video - I haven't seen it, but it always amazes how how people just *happen* to have a camera running and pointed at them when they're about to loose their temper. <E></E><e>

</e></QUOTE>
<br/>
He did it deliberately. He was adding pictures to their Dog's facebook page, ( a joke with the family) and her post popped up on the dogs page. It was full page letter with more curse words than you could count and for the record, though she blocked it from her parents and church group, it was addressed as a letter to her parents. In it she started with "I’m not your damn slave..." , they a housekeeper named Linda that they needed to remember she was the maid. ( Linda is a lady who trades cleaning services for services from their family because she can't afford to outright pay for it) She among her list of complaints and curse words goes on to tell them she should be paid for the minimal chores she does so she can buy what she wants and that next time they want a cup of coffee from her she will flip sh%$ on them. As they need to get their lazy a$$ up and clean themselves. ( her chores were to sweep the floor, wipe the counter and put the dishes from the dishwasher away, make her bed and wash her own clothes) Poor child... over worked like that. <br/>
<br/>
Long and short of it, she had just been warned and she had come off from being grounded for a rude post on there. Her Dad had put $130 worth of upgrades to the computer for her the day before and when he saw that, he made his video and posted it as a comment to her page...under her bashing of her family. His video is seriously just him reading her post out loud, telling her how disrespectful she was and disappointed he was, and that she'd be buying her own stuff from now on. He did it without screaming or cursing her. Just facts. And then he effectively kills the computer. <br/>
<br/>
I read my children facebook. To me... its not private. Just like I wouldn't let them hang offensive pictures on their bedroom walls or wear shirts advertising beer, drugs, or sex. Until they are grown, I get to tell them what is appropriate to show the world. They are children without the concept of what they put on here can come back around to bite you. This is the INTERNET. What you post is public. Private conversations, diaries... they are private. Open letters and blogs become viral, as the Dad's post just did. That is not nor will it ever be "personal and private". She will be better off learning now to watch what she sends out there. <br/>
<br/>
My children watched this video. They all sat here laughing at her for doing something so stupid. Only one daughter showed any sympathy for the girl, and when I asked if she thought it was unfair... she said "no.. But I really want her lap top" <br/>
<br/>
****Men in the southern and western US wear cowboy hats... and guns are as common as lemonade. *****</r>

 

[NancyM]

I remember being angry at my parents and complaining almost the same way she did about how they think I'm the maid, and I never get anything, and I want to be paid for my services, and how I hate cleaning up after them lol ( just minor chores, wiping counters, sweeping floors, doing dishes) And they were the kindest most generous parents alive! Teenagers are self centered egotistic humans, that's how it's suppose to be..

The only difference here and the way teens acted in the past say 30/40 yrs ago is that today everything they say and do is publicized through the internet. (Who expected your dad to publicize your punishment and show the world how bad a teenager you are?) Look how people are talking about her now thanks to dad, when even though most of us (who are honest), probably felt the same way about our parents when we were her age. And some of us cursed too.

We keep saying how she should have known that what ever she says will be permanent record, and she was a fool for saying it there. But what about the adult DAD? Didn't he realize the permanency of his actions? How foolish is he than.

The only thing that has changed between the generations is the electronically world, kids today are born into it, we weren't. That's how they communicate and it really isn't their fault. The internet is natural for teenagers, can any of us for just one moment think about any 15 yr old who has never been exposed to an electronic?
Imagine, no computer knowledge, no cell phone, no ipod, no digital anything!!! Of course not, I wouldn't be surprised if that might even be considered a form of abuse, how could a child keep up with learning in school, or researching, or even looking up a book at the library without being able to use modern devices. I bet most of us would consider that child odd, or slow or just not normal.

My point is that the teenager was acting like a teenager. Yes what she said was rude and she should have been talked to about it, and probably have her computer privileges taken away again. That's what parents do, over and over and over again...

I hope the dad is finished with his frustration and doesn't shoot anything else..I wouldn't be surprised if he pops up on some TV talk show soon, being a hero and all.

 

[mom2many]

<r><QUOTE author="Mom2all;130402"><s>

</s>He did it deliberately. He was adding pictures to their Dog's facebook page, ( a joke with the family) and her post popped up on the dogs page. It was full page letter with more curse words than you could count and for the record, though she blocked it from her parents and church group, it was addressed as a letter to her parents. In it she started with "I’m not your damn slave..." , they a housekeeper named Linda that they needed to remember she was the maid. ( Linda is a lady who trades cleaning services for services from their family because she can't afford to outright pay for it) She among her list of complaints and curse words goes on to tell them she should be paid for the minimal chores she does so she can buy what she wants and that next time they want a cup of coffee from her she will flip sh%$ on them. As they need to get their lazy a$$ up and clean themselves. ( her chores were to sweep the floor, wipe the counter and put the dishes from the dishwasher away, make her bed and wash her own clothes) Poor child... over worked like that. <br/>
<br/>
Long and short of it, she had just been warned and she had come off from being grounded for a rude post on there. Her Dad had put $130 worth of upgrades to the computer for her the day before and when he saw that, he made his video and posted it as a comment to her page...under her bashing of her family. His video is seriously just him reading her post out loud, telling her how disrespectful she was and disappointed he was, and that she'd be buying her own stuff from now on. He did it without screaming or cursing her. Just facts. And then he effectively kills the computer. <br/>
<br/>
<B><s></s>I read my children facebook. To me... its not private. Just like I wouldn't let them hang offensive pictures on their bedroom walls or wear shirts advertising beer, drugs, or sex. Until they are grown, I get to tell them what is appropriate to show the world. They are children without the concept of what they put on here can come back around to bite you. This is the INTERNET. What you post is public. Private conversations, diaries... they are private. Open letters and blogs become viral, as the Dad's post just did. That is not nor will it ever be "personal and private". She will be better off learning now to watch what she sends out there. <br/>
<br/>
My children watched this video. They all sat here laughing at her for doing something so stupid. Only one daughter showed any sympathy for the girl, and when I asked if she thought it was unfair... she said "no.. But I really want her lap top" <br/>
<br/>
****Men in the southern and western US wear cowboy hats... and guns are as common as lemonade. *****<e></e></B><e>

</e></QUOTE>

I could not agree more, in reality they both probably learned a lesson. Dad on how quickly the internet can take hold of something and the DD that dad and mom are not playing.<br/>
<br/>
And yep, guns are as common as a hammer in many parts of the states. My husband included, right down to his permit to carry. Dad used what would be a normal tool to him. If he had used a hammer most people wouldn't have thought twice about it.</r>

 

[mom2many]

My point is that the teenager was acting like a teenager. Yes what she said was rude and she should have been talked to about it, and probably have her computer privileges taken away again. That's what parents do, over and over and over again...

Just because a behavior is considered normal, does not mean a parent should walk with kid gloves when it comes to consequences. They tried other ways and it didn't work, so he got creative and tried a different way. It's no different then when parents take something away and get rid of it. His was just a much more final approach, besides which I am sure at some point he may have to regret cause I don't think she will never get a computer back. It's his pocket book that will be feeling it in the future.



You must have missed where I posted what the dad said about doing any media.

I hope the dad is finished with his frustration and doesn't shoot anything else..I wouldn't be surprised if he pops up on some TV talk show soon, being a hero and all.

Attention Media Outlets:
While we appreciate the interest you're all putting forth to get in touch with us regarding the video, we're not going to go on your talk show, not going to call in to your radio show, and not going to be in your TV mini-series.

Some of you think I made an acceptable parenting decision and others think I didn't. However, I can't think of any way myself or my daughter can respond to a media outlet that won't be twisted out of context. The Dallas news TV news already showed that in their brief 5 minute interview with the psychologist.

Additionally, there's absolutely NO way I'm going to send my child the message that it's OK to gain from something like this. It would send her a message that it's OK to profit at the expense of someone else's embarrassment or misfortune and that's now how I was raised, nor how she has been raised.

So I say thank you from all of us. If we have anything to say, we'll say it here on Facebook, and we'll say it publicly, but we won't say it to a microphone or a camera. There are too many other REAL issues out there that could use this attention you're giving us. My daughter isn't hurt, emotionally scarred, or otherwise damaged, but that kind of publicity has never seemed to be to have a positive effect on any child or family.

If you're a news outlet that wants to ask us a question, feel free to so via email. I'm sure by now my email address is easy enough to find. It might take me awhile to get to a response because I'd have to sort through the "Die you bastard" emails to find it, but we will respond if its something that we feel merits it. Otherwise, sorry... no interviews, no talk shows, no call-ins.

If we respond to anything, it will be on here, and it will be in a way that our words can't be misconstrued or edited for appeal to specific audience or shock value.

Now, I'm going to try to get to work for the day.
Best of luck to all of you out there... and PLEASE give my phone a break.

 

[NancyM]

Just because a behavior is considered normal, does not mean a parent should walk with kid gloves when it comes to consequences. They tried other ways and it didn't work, so he got creative and tried a different way. It's no different then when parents take something away and get rid of it. His was just a much more final approach, besides which I am sure at some point he may have to regret cause I don't think she will never get a computer back. It's his pocket book that will be feeling it in the future.
You must have missed where I posted what the dad said about doing any media.

IMO it depends on what the kid did, and each and every offense should be treated individually. Some normal teen age nonsense should be treated with kids gloves, and some shouldn't. The original question to this was 'What do you think" about the whole thing and this is what I think.

Did dad over react? Yes. Sorry again but 'CREATIVE?" I don't see the comparison of 'shooting' your kids belonging with a gun, quit the same as taking something away from her as a punishment. Not at all. We all want to shoot our kids toys at some point in our lives, but we don't. We continue to act like the adult and take things away from them.

And if he didn't want the whole world to see it than he shouldn't have posted it just like she shouldn't have posted her letter. (even though she was acting like a normal teen)

And if you read my post you would see that I said the girl should have been reprimanded, I agree, but IMO I think Dads approach was to harsh, and truthfully for his own gain...internet attention. this was my response to the OP.